Wednesday, March 16, 2011

This day

This day has become a part of my reality. Its a date I don't necessarily look forward to . But its a date for me to remember how GOOD GOD is. How faithful to me He has been to me. How full of forgiveness and grace and love.
Eleven years ago today I was with my Dad as he left this life and entered into eternal life. And that was a joyous occasion for me because you see, I had prayed faithfully for my dad for over 27 years to come to the LORD.
John Bluett was a man of great intellect, a sense of humor that I am so glad got passed on to me, and also very creative.
He was also an alcoholic and that caused a considerable amount of dysfunction in our family. I know that my siblings and I suffered much due to his drinking. I saw alcohol almost completely destroy his business. I saw alcohol destroy my parents marriage. And I remember hurtful times when it seemed Dad chose alcohol over me.
Even in the midst of his alcohol, I knew my dad loved me. Sure , he had a funny way of showing it. But I never wondered if my dad loved me.
Maybe that is why it was easier to understand God's love for me. Except this was a perfect love. A love that would always be there-no matter what. No matter how far I strayed, no matter how far I tried to run. God was relentless in His pursuit of me.
And He was relentless in His pursuit of my dad.
I remember my dad telling me the story of how about 16 months before he died, that God was after him. He realized that his time on earth would probably be ending in the near distant future. And he realized that he would have to come face to face with God. I guess when any of us really realizes that, we are forced to confront ourselves with the question, "am I ready for this? Am I ready to face a God I have purposely denied for years?". We would all get reflective and decide once and for all if we really did believe God existed.
Fortunately for John Bluett, he always believed in the existence of God and now He believed that the ONE who created him, desperately desired to be in relationship with him.
WE had some great talks over the remaining months of his life about God and how much my dad believed he missed because of his own stubborness.
I remember holding my dad's hands and whispering to him that it was OK to leave me, that it was OK to go to his real home...his eternal home. And I remember how sweet it was to hear him sigh, even while unconscious, when I prayed for him and said the name JESUS. It was truly one of life's most meaningful moments for me.
Its been 11 years now and I still miss him like crazy. There are times I just wish I could call him and tell him what was bothering me. And also to share with him life's greatest joys and blessings. I know I will see my dad again. I will spend eternity with him and Our Heavenly Father who gave us both life and for that I am forever grateful.

Five years after my dad died, on the exact same day, the other WORST moment of my life occured. I have tried to write about it but I can't. Suffice it to say, that someday I will try, but not today.
Today I can only rejoice in a GOD who loves me, who has shown me so vividly that He cares about what I care about. That He loves who I love. That He knows what I need. And that He has understood all my doubts and deepest fears. I rejoice in LIFE today...more than most days ...because He knows...because He cares...and because HE is the GOD who REDEEMS.
Thank you Father. You know how much I mean that.

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