Friday, March 25, 2011

Fickle?? No thanks

Are you fickle like me??
Somedays I wake up feeling wonderful; can't wait to get going on whatever is in store for me. I bounce out of bed like I have somewhere important to be. Even tho that might mean just going to the kitchen to start the coffee.
Those days where I look forward with anticipation to what I think might happen.
I remember two of those days in particular. Both were the days my girls would be getting engaged.

Kristi's engagement was set to happen on a Monday night in December. We had all just returned from the weekend festivities of watching Katie graduate from Azusa. And we all knew it was happening except for Kristi. She called me from work that day saying she didn't feel well and was thinking of cancelling on Adam. WHAT?? MY MIND SCREAMED TO MYSELF??
How could I convince her she was OK...that it wouldn't be that bad. Afterall, he had rented out Pac Bell (really named AT&T Park..but whatever). She went that night and had the surprise of her life and it was absolutely an incredible moment watching Adam propose, from hidden inside the Giants Dug out.

Katie's special day was also in San Francisco. She knew that her dad and i were double dating with she and Nate for the day in San Francisco. We were supposed to meet the rest of the family that evening at the ballpark for the Giants game. We went out to lunch, walked around Pier 39 and all of a sudden, Scud tells her he has to show her a houseboat that our Friend Scott was thinking of buying. By the time we got there, each of her siblings had called and cancelled out of the game. Even then she suspected nothing. And then there we were at the marina and there was Nate's uncle and cousin ready to take them sailing. After mumbling something about how her father gets seasick, she began to supsect something. But on a windy yet beautiful afternoon in the San Francisco Bay, Nate asked her to become his wife.
Now I knew about both those days and was so eagerly awaiting and anticipating them, and they were everything and more than I had even dreamed of.

Then I've had days like today. When the temperature was 33 degrees, it was still snowing and we had no power-yet again. I had no desire to get up. I wanted to stay warm and snuggled under my down comforter and just go back to sleep.

How can I be so excited for one day and so gloomy on another?
Why do my emotions change sometimes as quickly as the tides?
Why can one phone call either make my day, or send me falling to my knees?
Why can i be so accepting of someone one minute-full of unconditional love, and within a very few minutes be so judgemental of someone else?
Why do I think I need to be in control of everything?
Why do sometimes the answers come quickly and other times, I shrug my shoulders and have absolutely no idea what to do.
Why could I be so patient with a baby addicted to cocaine or heroin, fitfully crying for hours on end and be filled with contempt at the mother who caused this?
Why is it Ok for me to be happy with the fact that someone who was unethical in their work is caught and so accusatory when someone I love is fired?
Because I am fickle. I tend to go too much on my feelings instead of hearing all the facts and reasons of decisions.
I change sometimes as quickly as the weather does here in the Plumas National Forest. Only moments ago, the sky looked bright, the sun was trying to shine thru and then right now, snow is coming down fast and furious.
How very thankful I am that GOD is not like me. He doesn't change His feelings for me -or anyone else for that matter-on what I am doing, have done or will do.

Malachi 3:6 says " I, the LORD, do not change"

Isn't that incredible? He doesn't change with the world news. He doesn't change just because someone says He does. His Word remains the same. Through ages past and into eternity.
He always means what He says. He doesn't go back on His word, He doesn't withhold His blessings and promises because of our disobedience, our rebellion, our wanting our own way.
He keeps Loving us, keeps pursuing us-no matter what we do or don't do.
NOTHING I can do will ever change His love and affection for me, or for you.
I am so temperemental, so wishy washy at times, so full of compromise and un-committment.
And yet GOD remains the same. Always. Forever. No questions asked.

Hebrews 13:8 "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever"

His constancy, His unchangeableness, is what makes Him so trustworthy.

1 comment:

  1. Really, really, important for us to remember. Thank you for reminding me of this today. I really must cling to this truth, this promise. And thanks for being a part of that windy day on the SF bay. Definitely, one of my best days! I love you.