Tuesday, December 13, 2011


I don't understand the ways of God so much of the time.
Maybe I am not supposed to understand.
If I did, would I need Him?
Psalm 46:10 says:

Is that what it means to be still? The dictionary says that still is to remain stationary, or to remain at rest. It also says to remain calm and tranquil; free from turbulence or commotion.

But today its hard to be still.
Its hard to be at rest.
Because I just don't understand.
I don't understand why GOD you took Troy Gray home to You.
He was only 29. He had Kelly and their two sweet children who are 4 and still an infant.
Why not take me Lord? I have lived. I have had my children and watched them to grow into adults who love you. I have been married for a long time to such a wonderful man. I had 31 years of a nursing career, and the last 4 encouraging college kids to spend a lifetime walking, running and experiencing life with YOU.
I have had the joy of my grandsons.
I have had lifelong dear dear friends. I have lived.

Troy? He was in the prime of his life. YOU were using him for Your forever Kingdom purposes. And yet, YOU decided to bring him home to You.
Of course I don't understand that.
I don't understand either why You also took sweet Katie Parsons May home in July. WE all had prayed so much for her to get her lung transplant.

Maybe, like I said earlier, its not for me to understand.

The second part of the verse is easier for me to comprehend:
That part I get. YOU ARE GOD.
I believe You.
I trust You.
I know YOU have our best in mind.
I know YOU want us to have an abundant life-the kind only You can give.

So even tho I don't understand YOUR ways LORD, once again, I choose to trust you.
You even tell us in Your precious WORD: Who has known the mind of the LORD? Who has been His Counselor?

And in the 55th chapter of Isaiah you again remind us:
My ways are not your ways...My thoughts are not your thoughts.

So today , in a day where my heart is way too sad, I choose to believe you.
And I thank you for Troy's life. I thank You for sweet Katie's life.
Please tell them I will see them soon.
And I really am trying to be still.

Sunday, December 4, 2011


This is the time of year, when we spend so much time figuring out what to give people we love dearly, for Christmas.
My problem is: Christmas has become so over commercialized. Its become a way for the Retail in America to stay afloat. We are bombarded with ads thinking we need this, we need that.
Kids change their minds hourly to what they might want depending on what they see advertised on TV.
My email box is overflowing with "SALES". My mailbox brims with catalogs.
I love giving gifts. I always have.
But I am so concerned that we have really lost the true meaning of Christmas.
I vividly recall years ago, taking our children to see "Christmas in the Park" in downtown San Jose. We walked by the large Nativity scene and I overheard a woman say loudly, "What does that have to do with Christmas?".
Do you see the "CHRIST" in Christmas?

I do love Christmas. It is my favorite time of the year. I put up decorations and leave them up for a month. Although up in the mountains where we now live, the folks keep them up for 2 months!!
I love to give gifts. I love to bake goodies. I love the fact that I can be with the people I love the most.

I have had my 2 grandsons gifts for months now. Kellen is getting a San Francisco GIANTS bed comforter. I think he will LOVE this, and he certainly needs no more toys.
Jax is getting a wagon-because I think all kids need a wagon and somehow I forgot that with Kellen.
I have bought some other gifts for my kids. But they are small.
Instead, the past few years, I have given them gifts from World Vision.
All of us can really buy what we need. We have all that we need.
But giving them gifts that help others has such more meaning to me. In time, I hope they see why I choose to do this.
This morning I literally shed tears as I looked at the possibilities of the gifts online. I chose carefully and prayerfully. You can be sure that every year someone will get something to do with medicines that are needed. I spent 31 years being a nurse and my heartstrings break when I read the stories.
Instead of wishing I had more money to give material things to my loved ones, I wish I had tons of money to give to all the items listed.
I would love to encourage you to give to World Vision.Or to Heifer. Or to Samaritan's Purse. Or to Advent Conspiracy.
These are the gifts that are life giving and life changing, that won't be forgotten a month after the decorations are put away.
This morning I read in a devotional: "I came that they might have life and might have it abundantly" (John 10:10). To me, to live abundantly, means to give generously.
Christmas is for giving.
Let's just make sure we give gifts that are worthy of the money we spend.