I don't understand the ways of God so much of the time.
Maybe I am not supposed to understand.
If I did, would I need Him?
Psalm 46:10 says:
BE STILL and KNOW THAT I AM GOD.
BE STILL. BE QUIET. LISTEN.
Is that what it means to be still? The dictionary says that still is to remain stationary, or to remain at rest. It also says to remain calm and tranquil; free from turbulence or commotion.
But today its hard to be still.
Its hard to be at rest.
Because I just don't understand.
I don't understand why GOD you took Troy Gray home to You.
He was only 29. He had Kelly and their two sweet children who are 4 and still an infant.
Why not take me Lord? I have lived. I have had my children and watched them to grow into adults who love you. I have been married for a long time to such a wonderful man. I had 31 years of a nursing career, and the last 4 encouraging college kids to spend a lifetime walking, running and experiencing life with YOU.
I have had the joy of my grandsons.
I have had lifelong dear dear friends. I have lived.
Troy? He was in the prime of his life. YOU were using him for Your forever Kingdom purposes. And yet, YOU decided to bring him home to You.
Of course I don't understand that.
I don't understand either why You also took sweet Katie Parsons May home in July. WE all had prayed so much for her to get her lung transplant.
Maybe, like I said earlier, its not for me to understand.
The second part of the verse is easier for me to comprehend:
AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD.
That part I get. YOU ARE GOD.
I believe You.
I trust You.
I know YOU have our best in mind.
I know YOU want us to have an abundant life-the kind only You can give.
So even tho I don't understand YOUR ways LORD, once again, I choose to trust you.
You even tell us in Your precious WORD: Who has known the mind of the LORD? Who has been His Counselor?
And in the 55th chapter of Isaiah you again remind us:
My ways are not your ways...My thoughts are not your thoughts.
So today , in a day where my heart is way too sad, I choose to believe you.
And I thank you for Troy's life. I thank You for sweet Katie's life.
Please tell them I will see them soon.
And I really am trying to be still.