Monday, March 28, 2011

Foggy Nights

I know this road. I literally travel it over a hundred times each year. In the 3 yrs I've worked in chico, I have put over 30K miles on my car(s) travelling this road.
I know the curves-because there are so many. I know when to slow down cause it might get icy. I know when to look for the lights of a deer's eyes so I won't run into him. Sometimes while I'm driving this road, I pass one of my many landmarks and think to myself "how did i get here already?". Its not that I am not watching while I drive. Sometimes I am singing or praying and miss a few of "my spots".
This road is called Forbestown Road. It is a section of curvy twists and turns climbing up a mountain road, where I see some of the most amazing views ever of Oroville Lake and the areas surrounding it. And in the springtime, summer and early fall, if I am lucky enough to be driving at just the right hour, I see some of THE MOST spectacular sunsets I have ever been privileged to see. The ones that make me stop the car just to dwell in the magnificence of it.
So I do know this road, even on the late nights while I am driving home.
Last night was one of those nights. I left Chico after being with the YL leaders and started off merrily along my way.
I turned right onto Forbestown Road about to begin my last 25 miles home. Somehow I always put on KLOVE or Air One on this road- just because of the beauty that I see reminds me of God's creation and how I am privileged to enjoy it.
There was a brief wisp of vapor. My headlights on high made it worse. A few yards later, more vapor-this time coming in bunches. And then within one mile, I am in the midst of thick, dense, "I can't see" fog.
The kind of fog that makes you cling tight to the steering wheel. The kind that makes you sit up straight, with your eyes glued to the road. The kind of fog that leaves my body tense-even if its only for a short 5 minutes. But last night was not a 5 minute fog. It was 10 miles of curvy, mountainous roads where I couldn't see much of anything.
I've driven this type of fog too many times on this road. My goal always is to see the yellow lines in the middle of the road and the white line on the side. That's how I make it thru..well that and praying and listening to the praise music.
We've had alot of snow the past 10 days, and the white lines were no longer visible. Instead there were piles of snow made from the snow plows, that made the road even smaller than it seemed. The fog was so thick that i could barely see 10 feet in front of me. This road I know, became unfamilar once again, because I couldn't see any of my landmarks. Its pretty darn scary at times, and I just try to be the most cautious self I can be to navigate the road.

Then all of a sudden, the thick, dense fog stops. It is so sudden that each time I marvel at it. The night is clear. I see my landmarks. I see the moon. I see what is so familar. And I am so thankful that I made it thru to see clearly again. (I can see clearly now, the fog is gone!!).
Last night I was struck by how the fog on Forbestown Road is often like life.
Sometimes we just coast along; knowing where we are going, knowing what to expect. And then suddenly, out of nowhere, we are in dense fog. We can't see a thing. We are not seeing clearly. Everything is foggy. We can't figure things out. We wonder where God is in the midst of this.
Don't you see me, God? Don't you see I have no way of navigating thru this? Don't you know that this is definitely not a road I am familar with??
Won't you reveal yourself to me??? LIKE NOW GOD?
I've had quite a few foggy nights like this in my life. Not sure of what to do. Not sure where to go or whom to turn to? Not sure if I will make it thru this alive. When everything I know is turned upside down. When life throws me curves that I can't see myself getting thru them.
You probably have too.

In John 12:46 Jesus says: " I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in Me should stay in darkness"

AHH, the darkness doesn't last forever. The fog will eventually clear. I will be able to see the road of life I am on again. The darkness, the fog will NOT keep me from my LORD. He will reveal Himslef to me again. He never really left me at all. He was with me all along. I just was so concerned about what I could not see, that I completely forgot that He has told me countless times, " I will never leave you. I will never forsake you."
I get so caught up in the scariness of the moments, that I forget His promises. They are true. He is PRESENT-even when I don't "feel" it.
Foggy nights?? They come and go and make me pay attention. Next time life throws me a foggy night, I will try and remember that Jesus is ALWAYS MY LIGHT.

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