I know its my age.
There's something about waking up in the middle of the night. If I wake up before 3:30 am, I can easily go back to sleep. Anything after that, most often results in insomnia.
This morning was no exception.
The clock said 3:45 and I've been awake ever since.
Stressing over logistics of people's upcoming visits.
Not having the time for each person that I would like.
Feeling like I am cheating them.
Presently, we have our daughter Katie visiting us for two weeks while her sweet Nate is in Israel on business. Last week, our other daughter Kristi said she wanted to bring her family up this weekend. Which is always great because I LOVE having my family visiting. It was afterwards, that I realized that this same weekend I have two of my southern belles coming for a visit too.
So I began to stress. How am I going to have time to make each person feel special? To feel loved and cared for? And how do I have the time to care, nourish and love on our Interns? And I have dear staff friends counseling this week at camp and I have not even seen them yet and today is day five.
So naturally, this would keep me awake and my mind would not stop .
I knew that I needed to get up and spend time with Jesus because hopefully that would calm my heart and mind.
As ususal, the WORD OF GOD did calm my anxious heart.
I finished reading in the book of Joshua this early morning.
My life verse is in Joshua chapter 22 verse 5
"But be very careful to obey all the commands and instructions that Moses gave you .
Love the LORD your God.
Walk in all His ways.
Obey His commands.
Hold fast to Him and
Serve Him with all your heart and soul."
Also, in the last 4 chapters of Joshua we are told twice that not one of the LORD's promises to us has gone unfulfilled; not one of His promises has ever failed.
OK, that is a HUGE statement. None of His promises to us has ever failed.
Which immediately sent me to Philippians 4- a chapter that I go to frequently when I let the worries, struggles and stresses of my life get to me.
The New Living Translation has become my favorite version for verses 6-7
" Don't worry about anything, instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank Him for all He has done.
Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."
Then there's the often quoted Phil 4:13, " I can do all things thru Christ who gives me strength."
And my other "go to"- Phil 4:19, " And my God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in Christ Jesus."
Yes, those 4 verses began to calm my anxious heart. I told God I needed His help. And I began to thank Him for these type of problems.
I'm worrying over things I cannot control.
I had no idea that all of these visits would coincide.
What kind of problem is it really to have so many people to love? How rich am I that I have so many people God has blessed my life with to love?
Yes, I may not have the time that I would want for each of my upcoming visitors. But I would hope that they leave Woodleaf knowing that I do love them, that they are special and that I wish I had more time with each of them.
It was that phrase, " His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus" that got to me.
Life is all about living in Christ.
As you live in Christ Jesus. As I depend on Christ. As I go to Him with my concerns, anxieties and prayer requests. Living in Christ is showing me again that I was never, you were never meant to live life apart from Jesus. That we need Him desperately. Not all our times are desperate, but we need Him each and every moment of each and every day. Our hearts don't beat, our lungs don't breathe apart from His provision.
WE all need to learn what it means to live in Christ. It takes some of us a lifetime to learn that life really isn't life, apart from living in Jesus.
My stress is gone now.
I know that I will rely on Jesus to live purposely and love those that He brings into my life. I am so thankful for the unbelievable amount of friends that God has enriched my life with. I am indeed a very blessed woman.