my little story in His grand story

Psalm 31:7a
I will be glad and rejoice in Your love.

Whoa, did that catch me off guard this morning.
Do I rejoice in God's love for me?
I realized this morning that I should, but do I?

What about those times when life completely sideswipes you?
We all have had those times, and if you haven't, trust me, they will come.

What if you were just laid off your job?
What if you heard that those pains you were having, was actually Stage 4 cancer?
What if that relationship that you thought was going to last forever ended? 
 If you thought the special person you were dating was "THE ONE"? and they now say they aren't and "I'm sorry."
Or maybe your spouse of 10, or 20, or 30 and even 40 plus years, says they are done and they want out. "I want a divorce."
What if your child gets a terminal disease? And then they die?
Or your beloved spouse, or someone in your family or closest of friends dies?
What if your boss tells you they are transferring you across the country or even across the world?
What if your teen gets into trouble? Whether by drugs or a pregnancy ?
What if an accident leaves you unable to work??
What if you can't get into the college or grad school of your choice?
What if you flunk out of college?
What if you have prayed over and over to be healed of a long chronic illness and you still have it?

These type of questions certainly can cause us to question God's love for us.
But the Bible tells us that He says:
 " I have loved you with an everlasting love. I have drawn you with loving kindness" Jeremiah 31:3

Maybe His love is different than ours.
I most assuredly believe His love is different than mine.

I wouldn't have had my parents get a divorce.
I wouldn't have had my mom die when I was 21.
I wouldn't have had my two sons run away because of my anger.
I wouldn't have had a daughter become anorexic.
I certainly wouldn't have had a child try to end their life.
I wouldn't have moved to the "middle of nowhere".

But these things have happened in my life.

Romans 8:28 tells us "that God causes everything to work for good to those who love God , and who are called according to His purpose".
He did not say that all things were good.
He said He would work things out for good.
Why? Because He does love us.

I am so grateful to my grown children who recommend books and bible studies to me. Last fall they told me about "The Story".
The Story is by Randy Frasee and it basically is a book that tells us about God's story-from Genesis to Revelation. 
There is the Upper Story, which is God's story of how much He loves us and will do EVERYTHING to reconcile us to Himself; including sacrificing His precious Son's life-so that we could have a relationship with Him.
The Lower Story is our story. What God uses in our lives-to show us that He wants to align us with His Upper story. To bring us back to God and that relationship that He always envisioned us having with Him.

Is it always fun?
NO.
Is it painful?
Sometimes it is ever so painful?
Is it to help us understand that God wants a deep relationship with Him?
ABSOLUTELY YES.

To we always get it? No. Most of the time I don't get it during those hard times. It comes afterwards. When you see the hands of God knitting and fashioning our story to meet up with His wonderful Upper Story.
God ALWAYS works with our best interest in mind.
He works things out because of His deep love for us.
He catches us off guard to make us realize we were never meant to do life apart from Him.

Do we have to know the hows and whys? NO we don't have to, but we certainly want to. It is like the parts of the Bible that didn't get written. Those parts when we wondered what happened after? Or wonder how that person felt? Those parts of God's story that He didn't think were necessary for us to know. Those questions that remain unanswered, because what we wonder isn't really all that important to know.

Do I believe God loves me? 
YES with everything within me. I don't always understand His ways, and I don't necessarily need to understand.
What I do know is that all those hurts and pain I mentioned earlier, happened and because they did, they drove me to God. Drove me to seek solace and comfort from Him. To cling to God because I had no other place to go. It was God's way of showing me that HE LOVES ME, that He will never leave me alone.

Today I am rejoicing in His love. 
His love has carried me when nothing else could.