Friday, February 22, 2013

Desires of the Heart

What is it that you want MOST in life?
At different seasons of our journey thru life, we have different wants and desires.

I remember being 16 having a heart felt discussion with my friends at a slumber party (aka sleepover). We were imagining with our best teen hormonal minds what we wanted in the guy we would marry. I seriously proclaimed that I desired a tall blond guy who played baseball for the San Francisco Giants. (even then I was a die hard Giants fan). The thought of his values never really crossed my mind except for the fact that I wanted to have alot of kids. I remember saying I wanted 8 kids. My best friend Mikey had 8 kids in her family and I thought that was the greatest thing ever-and her mom always welcomed us into their home.
Fast forward six years and I remember putting a picture of a tall shaggy haired blond guy dressed in a crazy outfit in my bible. I had just read in my bible the thirty seventh Psalm. There are a number of verses that stuck out to me, but the reason I put the picture of this silly guy in my bible was because 
Psalm 37:4 said:

"Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart".

Ah ha!! I found the secret of getting what I wanted!!!
I was content having 2 of my 3 sixteen year old requirements for a husband: Scud was tall and blond. Fortunately for his sake, he became a San Francisco Giants fan too!!

But I remember trying to figure out what it meant to Delight yourself in the LORD. I was a fairly new believer and a friend suggested I look up the word in a bible dictionary. Hmmm, I didn't have one so I went out and bought my first Bible help; the Ungers Bible dictionary. It is a book I have used thru the years but unfortunately it didn't help me find out how to delight in the LORD. Mind you in those days there was no internet. I couldn't google the phrase.
So I went to the next best thing: Webster's dictionary which told me that the meaning of delight as a verb was to take pleasure in something

I absolutely took pleasure in getting to know the LORD. Something seemed off tho even in my immaturity as a new follower of Jesus. If I took pleasure in being with Jesus, He then would give me the desires of my heart?? Sounded more like a coin I would rub or a genie granting my wish.

It was then that a friend who was in bible college suggested I look up the original language definition of delight. Hebrew is the original language for the Old Testament. So I borrowed Bruce's book and found the Hebrew word for delight was:
'anag meant to be soft and pliable. I took this to mean if I was soft and pliable in the Lord's hands-just like clay, He could mold me into the person He envisioned me to be. If I let God be the One who who was in control, then He would give me the desires of my heart.
If I let Jesus have the reins of my life, wouldn't it make sense that His desires and mine were aligned? That we would want the same things?
By the age of 22 my requirements for my future spouse had vastly changed. I had begun my day to day relationship with Christ my sophmore year of college. Now I knew that whoever I married must have the same beliefs as me. Altho I couldn't say it like this then, I wanted this man to pursue Jesus as much as I did. I wanted him to be honest and a man of integrity. I wanted him to be able to make me laugh and do silly crazy things like I did. It was such a much more polished list.
I believe that God knew Scud fit those requirements and gave me the desire of my heart, because His desire too, was for me to marry someone just as passionate about Jesus as I was.

Years later, I clearly remember a deep desire and longing of my heart. I had caused a MAJOR rift between my sons. So much so that they both ran away. Ryan wasn't truly our "son " yet, but was well on his way to becoming our second son. Todd, on the other hand , was my son and he really couldn't stand me. He did not even want to see me or talk to me. I remember crying out to Jesus: "Just let him come back to You". I wanted desperately to reconcile our relationship but what I wanted even more was that Todd would know that GOD was not like his mother, He didn't fly off the handle in anger.
During that time, quietly and with full assurance the LORD told me Todd would return to Him. I believed that . I knew it was true and without a doubt, I knew that Todd would become a follower of Christ again whether I would be alive to see it or not.
That was a desire of my heart that aligned with God's desire. Not only was I privileged to see that transpire, but God miraculously healed my relationship with both sons.

If delighting myself in the Lord means being soft and pliable-allowing Him to be "the captain of my life's ship" then I believed the desire I had on waking up on my 50th birthday might coincide with something He desired for my life. I vividly remember thinking, " I'm 50 now, I want the rest of my life to count. I want to do whatever it is that would further the kingdom of God on this earth."
Not that I didn't want other things, but making a difference for Christ became my biggest desire-something I longed to do and probably was made to do.
I haven't written any best sellers leading people to a deeper relationship with Jesus. I am not on a speaking tour challenging you to make a difference too. What I am doing is being very intentional in seeing things in others that will encourage them to become the man or woman that GOD envisions them being. Its a small step, and I truly believe God is allowing me to make a difference for Him-not to give me any medals but to bring Him the glory He is due.

If your heart's desire is to make more money, or to climb the corporate ladder quickly, to find a life partner so you won't have to be alone, I would challenge you to first become soft and pliable in the hands of God. Perhaps then , your hearts desires will be ones that really matter.        



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