AWAITING NEW PROMISES

I was almost horrified this morning when while talking to a dear friend, I realized that tomorrow is September 1st.
Not that September 1 is a bad day, it is just that it crept up on me without even thinking about what that day signifies for me.

Twenty years ago ( or maybe it was 19 and this will be my 20th year), the pastor of the church we attended, informed us that he prays a particular verse for each of his family members.
I was so impressed with this idea, that I began searching for a verse for each different family member. I believe he told us about this endeavor the first weekend in September.

So now for the 20th time, I will begin to look for verses for our family members. When I started it was just the six of us. Now with spouses for each child and three adorable grandsons, I will be finding 13 different verses for each member of my immediate family.

I can almost guarantee you that it will take me the entire month to find them; unless by some "miracle", the LORD gives me these verses more quickly.
Truly it is an amazing time searching through the Bible looking, wondering, deciding (with the Holy Spirit's guidance) which verse is for which person. This allows me to see Scripture in a whole new light as I get to review verses from the past that have ministered to me when I deeply needed them, see verses that I had chosen for family members at different times in their lives, and be grateful again that the Word of God is still so relevant for today.


I often have wondered why the LORD would lead me to a specific verse for someone, but have believed that this indeed was THE right verse, even when I didn't understand; only to be amazed and grateful as the year went on and the reason was made clear.  

This year will be the 20th year I have prayed verses for my family; specific verses for each particular member. It has been an honor and a joy to do this. It has helped me memorize Scripture; although I must admit that I can't always tell you where it came from (book and verse), I do remember the actual words of the verse.

Yes, I was taken aback this morning that today was the last day of August. On the other hand, I am totally excited and looking forward to the month of September ( I always love this month because it is my birthday month!) because I am awaiting the new promises God will give me to pray for my family members.

When my kids were in school, they always started in September, that doesn't happen much these days, when so many schools begin in August, which is why I always pick my verses in September. It was the beginning of a new school year and a perfect time for me to reflect on challenges they might face, milestones that could occur, and wait for God to reveal His particular word, for each of those that I love the most in this world.

It is a beautiful thing to see how God works through the years. It is an even more splendid thing to see God work in the lives of your family and watch them become who He has envisioned them to be.

My encouragement for you today is to find verses for your family. It may take awhile. You may not be able to do it now for the season of life you are in. But if you can do this, not only will your family be blessed, you will be blessed as you watch God's Word come alive.

A  very special thank you to Dave Sawkins for this wonderful idea!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RYAN

Many times I have wondered to myself if your life would be different if we had gotten you sooner.
 As a young boy, you had so much change in your little life. Not much seemed permanent until you went to live full time with your grandmother.
I know you were loved. It just seemed like a different love than I had ever seen. I wish I had been around to protect you.
Would you have been molested? Would you have felt secure?
Could we have done that for you?
Not necessarily, given that both your sisters were molested too.

But would you have believed in unconditional love? 
That you were worthy of love? Just for being born? Just for living?
That you didn't need "to do anything" to be loved.

I would have loved to see you play baseball or football as a little boy. I would have loved to help you with homework and seen that you were having a hard time with school and pushed like crazy to get you the help you needed to succeed in school.

But none of this was part of the plan.
We were not to meet you until your sophmore year of high school.
I vividly remember the very first time you came into our home. 
While the other guys played video games in the family room, you hung out with me in the kitchen. I could ask you questions and your would answer them. Immediately I sensed you needed attention and love, and because you are you, it was so easy to do.
We wondered why God had brought you into our lives at this time, in this moment and season in our lives.  All we knew is that we were to love you.

It wasn't easy. Because you weren't used to being loved just for being you. It took years and years for you to finally believe that we loved you just for being you.  You brought laugher and more craziness into our home.

And we went thru some of the hardest times of your life with you: the car accident that took your mom, the suicide of your friend, the bouts with alcohol and drugs. We so wanted you to know that we were in this with you for the long haul. But it was so hard for you to believe. Hard for you to accept love that you "didn't deserve", but that we were freely giving.
I remember praying for you in those years of silence . Asking God to just let me know you were alive, and then out of nowhere I might get an email or a text and even a phone call. And I would thank God that you were alive and that I heard your voice.

I don't even know how to describe what happened. I got a phone call from Stephanie, telling me you were in jail and with her help , she convinced you to let me visit you. And on behalf of our whole family, I offered you the olive branch. Telling you that we loved you no matter what, that we would be here for you, and wanted to help you in any way we could.
I think it was then that you began to understand unconditional love. That it was something we were trying to do, to follow how Jesus loved us-without any conditions or expectations and just love and support.
I am so thankful for Kristi and Adam and how they wanted to do whatever they could to help you-and Adam didn't even know you.
And then to watch you work hard on being drug free. What a tremendous task you undertook and succeeded in. I am so proud of you.
We have been blessed to have you as our son for over half of your life now, and I can't tell you how much you have taught me.
Perseverance is a strong characteristic you possess Ry-keep on keeping on!!
So now on your 34th birthday I want to ask a favor of you. And there's no pressure; just something to think about and then decide.
This is the time of year that I spend finding verses to pray for each family member. I am not even half finished, but yours was the first one that God gave me.

Jeremiah 29:13
"You will seek me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart."
 (NIV)
or as the NLT says "If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find Me"

So my favor is to ask you to seek Jesus everyday for 6 months. I know you believe but also know its been a struggle and you have lots of questions. But I truly believe that if you seek God with all your heart, He will reveal Himself to you in ways that you won't expect and your life will be forever changed.
I can help you with this. Or Dad can or Kristi, Adam, Todd, Katie or Nate would all be willing.
I want you to know the faithfulness of Jesus that I do. That He alone is the ONE who will never ever leave you or forsake you and that He will be with you always. Those are the MOST comforting words of scripture for me.

Happy Birthday to my dear son Ryan Matthew.
I love you beyond what words could ever convey.
Mom

DO WHATEVER

Yesterday was Mother's Day.
I used to look forward to this "american greeting card holiday" so much.
Because it was MY ONE DAY OF THE YEAR that was all about me with my family.
If you don't know, Scud and I share the same birthday. So normally, my birthday doesn't mean much because I'm always trying to make it special for him. The "decade year" birthdays felt like they were mine, but shoot that's every 10 years. But boy have they been special.
So Mother's Day was my day and I totally milked it for all it was worth-meaning I did nothing but what I wanted. I remember going to Giants games on mother's day. I wish I had done that yesterday, I really miss those times.
I've been to the beach on mother's day. One year, I actually spent about 4 hours by myself at a Barnes and Noble, which was an amazing treat!!

As I got older, I didn't care as much. And once I became a grandmother, I really understood how much of a gift having children is, not that I didn't know that before.  So now, on Mother's Day, I am overwhelmed with thankfulness that the LORD blessed me with four unique human beings that have allowed me the privilege of being their mom. 
Being a mom is the hardest job any woman will undertake.  I used to think that those toddler years were the hardest. NOPE, they are just tiring-often sheer exhaustion that one might never feel again.   
Then there is the school years, when for the first time, your child leaves the safety of your home and the world around them can begin to bring changes you never expected. 
And the middle school and high school years? Well they are filled with your child's search for independence and autonomy that I truly believe we never expected. Plus all the hormones added to the challenges of what they might be tempted with-seriously we should throw parties when our children graduate from high school for us-that we survived!!
And then comes the empty nest years and you wonder where has the time gone. You miss the noise of your home that sending them off to college brings. Soon after comes college graduation, and you marvel at your child's accomplishment.
But don't think you are done then. I truly believe now, that this being the year my youngest turns 30, you never really are done being a Mom; it just changes. And that's a good thing too. Its fun to become friends with your adult children and be involved in their lives. Those times when you all get together are not as often as before -but so very special when they do occur.

Yesterday at  church, our pastor talked about Mary, the mother of Jesus and what it might have been like for her. Try to even imagine that. Your son, the SON of the Most High God and actually God Himself. Talk about being on your best behavior. Shoot I probably would never ututer a cross word or threat.
Pastor D mentioned what it would look like to have your 30 year old son living with you and then taking off for 3 years. That part I can imagine!!
Did Mary have any idea what would become of her Son? Probably not. I think God might have spared her the anguish of knowing what lay ahead.

What impressed me so very very much yesterday was Mary's last words recorded in the Bible. It was at the wedding in Cana. You know, the story of the wedding that ran out of wine and Jesus performed His first public miracle by turning water into wine (that's one wine I would love to have tasted!!).
Mary asks Jesus to help out and He chides her by saying "My time has not yet come".
Mary then tells the servants at the wedding:
" Do whatever He tells you."

Those were her last recorded words.
What PROFOUND words. 
Scud and I talked about those 5 words most of our way home from church.  

Those are the words I wish I had known earlier in my mothering role
Those 5 words are the BEST advice any mother could tell her children.

Do whatever He tells you.
Obeying God first and foremost.
ANYTIME. EVERYTIME. ALL THE TIME.

Those 5 words are now going to be part of my prayer life. For myself, for my children and husband and for you.        

Ahhh ....Scud

My last post was about blessings. I have been trying to be thankful and remember how much the LORD has blessed my life . While driving home last night from Chico, I was grateful how God worked His purpose for me that day.

I had lunch with one of "my girls". I thought it might be hard because there were some difficult things that needed to be communicated, but God was right there and it turned out how He planned it and I am grateful for how He leads us and how, when we are trying to be wholly His, that we respond in love.

Later in the afternoon, got to spend time (never enough) with my friend Gail. She inspires me and I love how she ministers to people at any given moment. She is truly a blessing in my life.

In the evening, I got to spend time in a small group discussing temptations and how we can run from them everytime. These 5 gals make my day everytime I am with them. Their honesty, vulnerability with each other and their desire to really be who God envisions them to be totally energizes me to what God has called me to do. Oh how they have blessed my life so much more than I could ever have imagined.

So while reflecting on my day and the blessings God has given me, I thought of the BEST blessing in my life outside of my relationship to JESUS.

SCUD.
He is the best blessing God has bestowed on me.
For almost 37 years now, this man has loved me, encouraged me, challenged me, shown me where I am wrong-always in a loving way, held me when I didn't think I could breathe again, shared my tears and has made me laugh every single day of our married life.

Scud is the opposite of me in so many ways:
He never judges people.
He always thinks before saying anything.
He always listens to 2 sides of a story before making any kind of decision.
He is not reactionary.
He has had the MOST INCREDIBLE servant's heart from the day I met him.
He never wants recognition; just wants to do what Jesus has called him to do.
He is completely humble.

Oh I realize how great he is. I also realize that I just informed you of how not great I am, but most of you who read this already know that.

Scud has been the most wonderful husband for me.
He has been an amazing, wise and loving Dad to our four kids.
I am so grateful that God graciously brought into my life a man who desires to be who God envisions him to be and how he encourages me daily to be the woman God wants me to be.

Completely certain that this is the BEST MAN for me and that God brought Scud into my life so that i could know more of JESUS .
I am forever grateful LORD GOD.
THANK YOU.

Gifts come in so many different ways.

We returned home yesterday after being gone for two weeks.
It was one of those vacations that I will always remember.
Our entire family went to Kauai for celebrating my 60th birthday.

60 was the age I never wanted to be. You know when you are little and someone asks you what old is...I always said 60. So I dreaded this birthday more than any other. I didn't want to be old. I thought I would become old right away.
Fortunately for me, I have been blessed by four children who love me and know me.
They got together and decided that going to Kauai as a family would be one present and surprise they could give me.

It was truly truly wonderful.
Scud and I got to spend 10 days on my favorite place on earth.
Its the place that everytime I go, I see so much of the beauty and diversity of God's creation.
The ocean seems endless-which I am pretty sure it is, and the colors that come out in the sun: from aquamarine to crystal blue make my heart swell.
I am a beach girl. I have loved being at the beach since I was a little girl. I was so blessed to spend every summer at the beach at my grandmother's beach house in Ventura. I learned how to dive thru waves, being taught by my mom. I learned how to body surf, I learned how to surf. I even learned how to become friends with a seal.

The beach is where I always would choose to vacation. Its the place I want to go whenever I want to mull things over, contemplate life or just be with God. Getting to spend 10 days in Kauai is  my idea of a vacation.
And to be able to experience this with the ten members of our family and a girlfriend was just what I needed to ease into the 60's.

I really did learn that age is a state of mind. Walking the beach with my grandsons, looking for shells, laughing at the huge sandcrabs, picking up sticks that turned into alligators, and playing in the water -well nothing beats that.
I got to play with these little love bugs on the exact same beach that i played with their mom when she was three.
It made me realize how extremely privileged I am to be able to see the ocean because there are millions of people who never had. To gaze continually on the magnificence of God's creation brought shivers to me morning after morning as I watched the sun rise thru the clouds. I am so thankful for the thoughtfulness of my children to give me such an extraordinary gift.

We came home a day early to attend the memorial service of a friend of ours. This special man knew for 34 months that his time was limited and he was real and honest with his thoughts and emotions. But he faced his mortality fully trusting in the goodness of God, that God knew the perfect timing of his life on earth. I loved how Kevin did everything he possibly could to take care of his family while he was living and for after he was gone. I loved how he encouraged me in my faith and provided me with more opportunities to believe in a loving , grace giving God.

Then when we finally arrived home, there was a call telling me that one of my dear college friends, who also was one of my bridesmaids, had 3-4 months to live. My friend Sharon and I have lost touch over the years, but she's one of those friends,  the type who will always have a special place in your heart. So my heart hurts once again.
I'm staring my own mortality in the face having friends my age end life on this earth.

So right now I am making plans to go to southern California to visit my friend, who will always be known to me as "Garb". I want to tell her i love her, that I appreciated how she made me laugh like no one else. I want to remind her of what a phenomenal friend she is to her friends and what a fantastic daughter and sister she is.
Garb always cared deeply for the people in her life and now I have the chance to tell her how graterful I am that she impacted my life.

We don't always get the opportunity to say good bye to people who we know are not going to be with us much longer.  So for me, this is another gift that I have been given. A chance to tell someone how much they have meant to me. Which got me to thinking how many opportunities do I miss in telling those I love how much they mean to me. Of encouraging and cheering on people who I care about. Its a gift we can give to someone everyday-if we choose to.
And everyone loves gifts!
They don't have to be a fantastic trip to Kauai. They can be saying goodbye to a dear friend. They can be thanking someone for their thoughtfulness, Going to someone's game. Encouraging someone in their work, their crafts, their sports abilities, their gardening skills, their musical ability. We all have needs to be encouraged, to be thanked.
Why don't you think of who you could give a gift to today?? That's what I'm doing and really going to try and do this daily.
How about you?? Gift giving is so rewarding.

MOTHERS DAY

Undoubtably, the most terrifying job one can imagine is being a mother.
Mind you, it is also the one job that brings indescribable joys. It also can bring tears and fears.
But being a mom is hands down the most challenging, yet rewarding job any woman can have.


For almost 34 years now, I have had the etremely immense privilege of being the mom to Kristi, Todd, Katie and Ryan.
They have brought me to a place of humility like no other.
They have brought me laughter upon laughter.
They are the memories that will never leave my heart.
Those four lives are the ones I would do absolutely anything for, and often have.
I have sacrificed so they could have.
I have been blessed abundantly beyond measure because of them.
I have laughted until I cried, and wept till I couldn't cry anymore.


I have watched them grow up.
I have watched them succeed and have watched them fail.
I have nursed them in sickness and held them in their dark times.
I have watched them fall in love and watched their hearts break over losing love,
I have watched both of my daughters fall in love and then marry the most wonderful delightful men.
I anticipate watching both of my sons marry the girl of their dreams.


I had absolutely no idea what I was getting into when I became a mother. There are no manuals. Often it is a trial by error method of learning how to parent.
I am confident that Kristi, Todd, Katie and Ryan would confirm that I have failed a few too many times.
I am also sure that they know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I love them fiercely and loyally.
I have made countless mistakes being a mom and have asked forgiveness of my kids more times than I would like to admit.
But I have tried to be the best mom that could be for them. I have given it my all. I have tried to become the mother I envisioned myself to be. And yet as I said, I know I have failed.


AS I look at my grown children, I know I have succeeded too.
I see them as adults who long to contribute to making the world better.
I am so incredibly proud of each of them. As adults they bring me incredible joy as I see how they pursue life and they pursue Christ.


I think the best thing I have done for my kids is to pray continually for them-since the moment I knew I was carrying them inside me. It has been the most awesome adventure watching my prayers answered; wasn't always what I prayed but what happened was the Best for them.
More than anything what Scud and I wanted was for them to know the LORD of the universe. To spend their lives seeking Him and obeying Him. And each one of them is doing that. We all know that we are on a journey with Jesus and I have been blessed beyond my wildest imagination seeing Kristi, Todd, Katie and Ryan seeking after the GOD who loves them more that I can begin to comprehend.

God blessed me even more by bringing Adam and Nate into my life as well. These two men, who love my daughters like no other, are now too, my sons. I love them deeply and am so grateful they are part of our family.

Four years ago I learned that the best thing about parenting is GRANDPARENTING.
Now I just get to love and love and love on my little favorite guys. I might make mistakes with them too; but what a privilege it is to get to see life again thru the eyes of a child.

So THANKYOU Kristi, Todd, Katie and Ryan.
I wouldn't trade being your mom for ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD.
NOTHING has brought me greater joy. I will keep on loving you, supporting you in any way I can, until the day I leave this earth.