I realize how tough this time of year can be for some.
I remember the times Christmas was so very hard for me; when I didn't want to celebrate, when I just wanted to crawl under the covers and stay there.
It was Christmas in 1973. My mom had died unexpectedly two months before.
"How do we do Christmas without mom?"
"What do we even do?"
It wasn't very fun. Who cared about the tree? The decorations?
But it was to be the last Christmas we would celebrate in the home we grew up in. So we did it. My sister and her family came from Mexico. My older brother came from Oregon. My younger brother and I were home.
We bought the tree. We decorated it. And we did it just to "do it" the one last time.
Vividly, I remember saying I would cook the turkey. I was sure I remember how my parents did it. In a greased bag at a high temp for an hour and then a lower temp for another hour and a half. We all thought that was how it was done.
We had a pink turkey. It wasn't cooked all the way through. I cried again.
My grandmother was there. She had lost her only child. She wanted to be with us. We tried to make it special for her. I'm sure we failed there too. I remember flying to Los Angeles to take my grandmother home. She got sick and I had to call 911. I remember kneeling on the floor of her living room in her small apartment begging God not to take her. I couldn't handle another loss. Thankfully, He didn't.
But it was in the words of Alexander, a "no good, terrible, awful Christmas".
The other Christmas that was very hard happened in the mid 80's. I was a NICU nurse and was taking care of a sweet sweet baby named David who had Osteogenesis Imperfecta Type II. It is a brittle bone disease and he was born with over 200 fractures over his tiny little body. David was never expected to live through his delivery, but he did.
David lived for ten days. I was his primary care nurse and I did everything I could to make him comfortable and help his parents endure this tragedy. David died on Christmas Eve. It was a very emotional day for me. I had three healthy children and this couple had just lost their son. I had to "rally" for my kids sake, but my sorrow was immense that year.
I have several friends that will spend their first Christmas without their loved one. It will be hard. It will be different. It will be sad.
The second Christmas for me without my mom was harder than the first because I realized how immense the loss was: I never again would have Christmas with her. So already I am praying for my best friend and her family as they will have another Christmas without their son and brother.
The good thing is: we have our memories and they can be such gifts; such blessings.
I still make every year the brownies my mom made at Christmas and gave away. Those were the brownies we always left for Santa. Those brownies were my grandmother's recipe, and I very rarely give that recipe away. It's one of the few things I have left of my mom and Honey (my gram) that no one can take away.
IF this Christmas is one you are dreading, please try and remember the blessings and the gifts you have been given.
It is a gift to mourn the loss of someone you will miss, that person was a treasured gift of love, and how blessed are we to have known and received love.
Remember the person with fondness.
How they made you laugh.
The silly, quirky things they did.
The things that drove you crazy.
The fun times you had in different places.
The sweet moments that you treasure.
The words you remember spoken to you.
BE THANKFUL for how your life was enriched by that person.
How your life won't be the same again, and you don't have to try and make it be, but the ONE THING NO ONE CAN TAKE FROM YOU IS YOUR MEMORIES of your dear loved one.
In the midst of the sadness, your grief, realize that you are not alone.
There is someone who understands.
Someone too, who lost a dearly loved son.
Someone who understands your grief and cries with you.
Someone who will be there in the darkest, scariest moments you endure.
Someone who longs to cradle you and whisper to you:
" I know. I understand. I love you. I am here with you."
This is the GOD who made you, who created you, who loves you. Who blessed your life be giving you people to love, to share your grief and joys.
GOD cries with you. He knows and feels your loss.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Try each day to find one or two or even five things to be thankful for. Gifts you have been given. Blessings you have experienced.
This won't make the holidays easier.
But it might make you more aware that there are things we take so often for granted, that are meant to bless us.
Sometimes, for me at least, it is good to have something else to do besides cry.
May you find the HOPE that Christmas really is.
Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 16, 2014
Friday, December 12, 2014
THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR ??
The Christmas Season.
That sentence alone can either send us into a state of giddiness or into the abyss of despondency.
How can something so celebrated by some be to others, something they want to avoid altogether?
When life is good, when we are coasting along and everything seems right, Christmas is anticipated with glee and gaiety.
When life seems awful, when you are despairing, Christmas is the time when you wish everyone would quit being so happy.
This Christmas, can we try and remember that there are those we love, who are dreading this season? There are those we don't know who wish more than anything they could celebrate right now, but due to circumstances, they are in a place of despair. There are some who have no idea what Christmas is all about, who if they did know, might again be able to hope.
HOPE that life could get better.
That life could be lived without fear.
Without thinking they could be beaten and killed because of the color of their skin.
That all of us could see we are family; we might look different from each other, we might believe different things, but we all are brothers and sisters in the human race.
This Christmas season, called Advent, by Christians everywhere, is a season of waiting. Waiting for the birth of the baby who would forever change the world. Waiting with expectation and urgency, for God above, to make everything right again. It is the time to focus on where we are and where we desire to be. Not in the physical mindset, or the place where are dreams might be, but where we want to be in relationship with a GOD who desperately woos us. One who wants the very best for us. One who longs for us to know Him and understand the significance of sending His Son to earth to navigate the way for us to return.
To return to the ONE who has given us life. Who has given us the very breath we each are taking this very minute. The ONE who gave us a heartbeat to align with how His heart beats for us.
To return to where we were meant to be.
To the place where we have always wanted to be.
The place of contentment. The place that we know is our home, the real home, the one we long for.
The place where we feel safe.
Even when we are deeply grieving the loss of a loved one who we miss dearly.
Or when certain dreams of ours have been shattered.
Or when we have been wronged and hurt and need to be loved and nurtured.
To return to the place where we should have been all along.
In this season of hurrying to get everything done, checking off our lists, baking our goods, going to parties, worrying about how our families will interact, can we return to the place where we know is the right place to be?
To the place GOD always intended for us to be.
In a relationship with Him. So that in the great moments of our life, we know His blessings, and in the most horrific moments of our lives, we can experience His presence and His Peace.
None of us were ever meant to live life independently.
Why do we think we can?
And then when things go wrong, we blame God.
Why God? Because we think if He really loved and cared for us, none of the bad things would happen. So when they do we blame Him.
But it is not His fault. It is our own. We were meant to live with GOD, not trying to be our own god.
That is the reason Jesus Christ came to earth.
read an abridged version her of the true meaning of Christmas.
(http://www.gotquestions.org/Christmas-true-meaning.html)
Everything about the real meaning of Christmas points to Our God who pursues us relentlessly. Over and over again. When we continually turn our backs on Him.
But to be real, even when we do seek Him, when we try and be who He desires us to be, things can go terribly wrong.
We still can lose our jobs. We still have racism. We still have poverty. And slavery. And discrimination that is often rampant, whether it be because of our race, our religion, our sexual orientation. We can still have loved ones die. We can still have cancer ravage our bodies. We can still be lonely and afraid. We can still suffer from mental illness and have loved ones who suffer.
Being where we were meant to be, means returning to a God who desperately wants us to call him Papa. To go to the FATHER who wants to hold us, comfort us, encourage us, and mostly love us. Even when we might not have a good earthly example of a father. Even when we could be afraid of a man called father.
GOD is the FATHER we all need. The true meaning of the word Father. HE is the ONE who loves us unconditionally; no matter what we might have done. The ONE who forgives us and pursues us. Don't we all need that? To feel loved and pursued?
So yes, this might be the time of year when we dread Christmas and wish it would go away because of our own heartache. But we can go to a FATHER who knows us intimately, who wants to love and care for us, and wants us to feel safe with Him.
Because that is the place we were always meant to be.
Here are links to 2 of my blogs also about Christmas.
http://missyscud.blogspot.com/2013/12/light-in-darkness.html
and
http://missyscud.blogspot.com/2013/12/celebrating-christmas-when-you-dont.html
That sentence alone can either send us into a state of giddiness or into the abyss of despondency.
How can something so celebrated by some be to others, something they want to avoid altogether?
When life is good, when we are coasting along and everything seems right, Christmas is anticipated with glee and gaiety.
When life seems awful, when you are despairing, Christmas is the time when you wish everyone would quit being so happy.
This Christmas, can we try and remember that there are those we love, who are dreading this season? There are those we don't know who wish more than anything they could celebrate right now, but due to circumstances, they are in a place of despair. There are some who have no idea what Christmas is all about, who if they did know, might again be able to hope.
HOPE that life could get better.
That life could be lived without fear.
Without thinking they could be beaten and killed because of the color of their skin.
That all of us could see we are family; we might look different from each other, we might believe different things, but we all are brothers and sisters in the human race.
This Christmas season, called Advent, by Christians everywhere, is a season of waiting. Waiting for the birth of the baby who would forever change the world. Waiting with expectation and urgency, for God above, to make everything right again. It is the time to focus on where we are and where we desire to be. Not in the physical mindset, or the place where are dreams might be, but where we want to be in relationship with a GOD who desperately woos us. One who wants the very best for us. One who longs for us to know Him and understand the significance of sending His Son to earth to navigate the way for us to return.
To return to the ONE who has given us life. Who has given us the very breath we each are taking this very minute. The ONE who gave us a heartbeat to align with how His heart beats for us.
To return to where we were meant to be.
To the place where we have always wanted to be.
The place of contentment. The place that we know is our home, the real home, the one we long for.
The place where we feel safe.
Even when we are deeply grieving the loss of a loved one who we miss dearly.
Or when certain dreams of ours have been shattered.
Or when we have been wronged and hurt and need to be loved and nurtured.
To return to the place where we should have been all along.
In this season of hurrying to get everything done, checking off our lists, baking our goods, going to parties, worrying about how our families will interact, can we return to the place where we know is the right place to be?
To the place GOD always intended for us to be.
In a relationship with Him. So that in the great moments of our life, we know His blessings, and in the most horrific moments of our lives, we can experience His presence and His Peace.
None of us were ever meant to live life independently.
Why do we think we can?
And then when things go wrong, we blame God.
Why God? Because we think if He really loved and cared for us, none of the bad things would happen. So when they do we blame Him.
But it is not His fault. It is our own. We were meant to live with GOD, not trying to be our own god.
That is the reason Jesus Christ came to earth.
read an abridged version her of the true meaning of Christmas.
(http://www.gotquestions.org/Christmas-true-meaning.html)
Everything about the real meaning of Christmas points to Our God who pursues us relentlessly. Over and over again. When we continually turn our backs on Him.
But to be real, even when we do seek Him, when we try and be who He desires us to be, things can go terribly wrong.
We still can lose our jobs. We still have racism. We still have poverty. And slavery. And discrimination that is often rampant, whether it be because of our race, our religion, our sexual orientation. We can still have loved ones die. We can still have cancer ravage our bodies. We can still be lonely and afraid. We can still suffer from mental illness and have loved ones who suffer.
Being where we were meant to be, means returning to a God who desperately wants us to call him Papa. To go to the FATHER who wants to hold us, comfort us, encourage us, and mostly love us. Even when we might not have a good earthly example of a father. Even when we could be afraid of a man called father.
GOD is the FATHER we all need. The true meaning of the word Father. HE is the ONE who loves us unconditionally; no matter what we might have done. The ONE who forgives us and pursues us. Don't we all need that? To feel loved and pursued?
So yes, this might be the time of year when we dread Christmas and wish it would go away because of our own heartache. But we can go to a FATHER who knows us intimately, who wants to love and care for us, and wants us to feel safe with Him.
Because that is the place we were always meant to be.
Here are links to 2 of my blogs also about Christmas.
http://missyscud.blogspot.com/2013/12/light-in-darkness.html
and
http://missyscud.blogspot.com/2013/12/celebrating-christmas-when-you-dont.html
Thursday, December 19, 2013
LIGHT in the Darkness
Christmas. The Word itself evokes emotions, memories, traditions, family, friends.
In various ways throughout most of our world, it is celebrated. Not necessarily on December 25th as we do in the United States.
Christmas means so much to so many of us.
The original story, the original Christmas is often overlooked now days. But not for me. It is the most favorite time of the year for me, because it is about God entering our world and becoming one of us.
The problem is that part of the story often goes unsaid, un-noticed.
It is one of THE TWO GREATEST MIRACLES EVER.
How can we miss it?
The basis of the Christmas story is that God sent His very own Son to earth-to be born just as we all are, as a newborn baby.
From the beginning, when God created the universe and then created Adam and Eve, He has longed to be Our Father. He cherishes us as His very precious children and longs to love us in the most perfect way.
Maybe you know the story, maybe you don't. So I will give you a brief synopsis. God created the world, then created the first man and woman: Adam and Eve. God desired so much to be their Father. He envisioned a perfect world. One that was without sickness and death, grief and heartache, poverty, racism, hatred and war. He wanted us to know Him and live in peace.
He asked Adam and Eve to take care of His Creation, which they were happy to do. He asked them not to eat the fruit of one specific tree- the tree of knowledge of good and evil, because if they did, He told them they would surely die.
Well as it often happens, curiosity got the best of Eve, (thru the trickery of God's enemy, aka the devil, disguised as a serpent), and she wanted to find out why this fruit was forbidden. In a short conversation, the devil misquoted God, confused her, and then encouraged her to take the fruit because then she would be like God.
Sounded good to Eve, so she ate the fruit and then convinced Adam to do the same.
And that is when God's vision of His perfect world stopped.
We tend to forget that He is God and we are not.
I do that way too often.
Reality though, is that HE INDEED IS GOD, and we are not.
God is the Creator and the Sustainer of all life.
He knows what is BEST for each of us. And think how many there are of us; both now and in history past.
Our basic problem is that we want to be god, and that is just never going to happen. He is what holds together our universe.
When Adam and Eve took the fruit (this is what was known as the first or original sin), God came up with Plan B.
First we might need to give a quick basic definition of sin.
sIn is putting ourselves as first. Giving us the Capital I. We want to be god and not follow the real GOD. Somebody has to be the one in charge and in God's plan, He is the One.
We tend to struggle with that a bit, we want to be in charge of our own lives-and often the lives of others. Since God was the One who created the world and us, He became the top dog-the one in command. And sin is basically us rebelling against God's plan. We like to be in charge.
So God's "perfect creation and world" ended with Adam and Eve deciding to do what they wanted, and God came up with Plan B that would allow us again to have the original relationship God had intended for each of us with Himself. He knew that there was nothing we as humans could do, to make things right.
Oh we tried. We followed His laws (most of the time). We offered sacrifices to make up for our sins and He accepted those. But they would never take away permanently our need to keep asking God to forgive us thru our sacrifices.
So God's plan involved sending His Precious Son, Jesus to earth.
Together they knew what must be done to save us from our sins.
"The Word became flesh and dwelt among us"
John 1:14 (NIV)
Or as another version states:
"The Word became flesh and blood and moved into the neighborhood" The Message
God's own Son, Jesus, came into our world, as a newborn baby. He lived and grew just as we did. He was man and yet He was still God. Jesus was God in the Flesh; God Incarnate. Jesus became the Light in a very dark world. But as we often do, we didn't recognize Him, didn't want to acknowledge who He really is. That doesn't change the fact of WHO He is or why He came.
Fact be known, Jesus came to our earth as a man, to take care of sin once and for all. His sole purpose in leaving heaven and coming to earth was to reconcile us to the intended relationship with God the Father that He had envisioned since before time began.
He lived to die. He lived so that He could be the ONE sacrifice that was needed to take care of our sins. And He did that on Good Friday when He was crucified and died for the sins of entire mankind. Just so that we could know Our Father the way He had intended. Know His Love for us, His Grace and His Forgiveness.
John 1 :4-5 says:
In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. 5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.
Jesus was life. Jesus was the Light. Jesus was the Light in the darkness of the world. And even the darkest dark cannot hide Him from us.
We all need Light in the midst of the darkness of our world. The atrocities that occur over and over again. The raping of women and young girls, those sold into prostitution or child slavery, the rampant wars that continue, the extreme poverty that 7/8 of the world endures, the sicknesses, the deaths of those we love. The wrong decisions we make that cost us, either emotionally or financially. WE need THE LIGHT of Jesus to counteract the hatred and jealousy of racism. We need His Light to bring healing to broken homes, broken relationships. We need to be embraced by the Light of Jesus, to hold us close when life seems completely overwhelming.
Jesus often shows us His Light thru His people.
He has shown me His LIGHT in my very dark fall thru the lives of 11 incredible young women.
Two of them, Andi and Jen are my Young Life staff friends who I try to mentor. They have showered me with love and affection all fall long-even during Andi's wedding to Mike. Thank you both so so much.
The other LIGHT in my darkness has been my Young Life College Friends in Chico. They have blessed me, prayed for me, sent me texts and messages, called me and upheld and supported me in my very darkest fall ever. Having two cancer surgeries within 6 days and a very long recovery time, plus losing my dear 4th "son" Robby has made life difficult to say the least.
I am blessed and beyond grateful to both my Sarah's, Kristin, Caitlin, Lauren, Katie, Bri, Emily and Robin. They have been Jesus to me. They are my Jesus sightings all thru this hard time.
Jesus brought them into my life to be HIS LIGHT in the darkness I experienced.
I am truly truly thankful.
I am so amazed at how day in and day out, the LIGHT of JESUS shines. We just need to look for it-to look for HIM, in all our days.
My prayer is that in this next week, we all look and long for the true LIGHT that will not allow the darkness we face, to extinguish His Presence with us.
In various ways throughout most of our world, it is celebrated. Not necessarily on December 25th as we do in the United States.
Christmas means so much to so many of us.
The original story, the original Christmas is often overlooked now days. But not for me. It is the most favorite time of the year for me, because it is about God entering our world and becoming one of us.
The problem is that part of the story often goes unsaid, un-noticed.
It is one of THE TWO GREATEST MIRACLES EVER.
How can we miss it?
The basis of the Christmas story is that God sent His very own Son to earth-to be born just as we all are, as a newborn baby.
From the beginning, when God created the universe and then created Adam and Eve, He has longed to be Our Father. He cherishes us as His very precious children and longs to love us in the most perfect way.
Maybe you know the story, maybe you don't. So I will give you a brief synopsis. God created the world, then created the first man and woman: Adam and Eve. God desired so much to be their Father. He envisioned a perfect world. One that was without sickness and death, grief and heartache, poverty, racism, hatred and war. He wanted us to know Him and live in peace.
He asked Adam and Eve to take care of His Creation, which they were happy to do. He asked them not to eat the fruit of one specific tree- the tree of knowledge of good and evil, because if they did, He told them they would surely die.
Well as it often happens, curiosity got the best of Eve, (thru the trickery of God's enemy, aka the devil, disguised as a serpent), and she wanted to find out why this fruit was forbidden. In a short conversation, the devil misquoted God, confused her, and then encouraged her to take the fruit because then she would be like God.
Sounded good to Eve, so she ate the fruit and then convinced Adam to do the same.
And that is when God's vision of His perfect world stopped.
We tend to forget that He is God and we are not.
I do that way too often.
Reality though, is that HE INDEED IS GOD, and we are not.
God is the Creator and the Sustainer of all life.
He knows what is BEST for each of us. And think how many there are of us; both now and in history past.
Our basic problem is that we want to be god, and that is just never going to happen. He is what holds together our universe.
When Adam and Eve took the fruit (this is what was known as the first or original sin), God came up with Plan B.
First we might need to give a quick basic definition of sin.
sIn is putting ourselves as first. Giving us the Capital I. We want to be god and not follow the real GOD. Somebody has to be the one in charge and in God's plan, He is the One.
We tend to struggle with that a bit, we want to be in charge of our own lives-and often the lives of others. Since God was the One who created the world and us, He became the top dog-the one in command. And sin is basically us rebelling against God's plan. We like to be in charge.
So God's "perfect creation and world" ended with Adam and Eve deciding to do what they wanted, and God came up with Plan B that would allow us again to have the original relationship God had intended for each of us with Himself. He knew that there was nothing we as humans could do, to make things right.
Oh we tried. We followed His laws (most of the time). We offered sacrifices to make up for our sins and He accepted those. But they would never take away permanently our need to keep asking God to forgive us thru our sacrifices.
So God's plan involved sending His Precious Son, Jesus to earth.
Together they knew what must be done to save us from our sins.
"The Word became flesh and dwelt among us"
John 1:14 (NIV)
Or as another version states:
"The Word became flesh and blood and moved into the neighborhood" The Message
God's own Son, Jesus, came into our world, as a newborn baby. He lived and grew just as we did. He was man and yet He was still God. Jesus was God in the Flesh; God Incarnate. Jesus became the Light in a very dark world. But as we often do, we didn't recognize Him, didn't want to acknowledge who He really is. That doesn't change the fact of WHO He is or why He came.
Fact be known, Jesus came to our earth as a man, to take care of sin once and for all. His sole purpose in leaving heaven and coming to earth was to reconcile us to the intended relationship with God the Father that He had envisioned since before time began.
He lived to die. He lived so that He could be the ONE sacrifice that was needed to take care of our sins. And He did that on Good Friday when He was crucified and died for the sins of entire mankind. Just so that we could know Our Father the way He had intended. Know His Love for us, His Grace and His Forgiveness.
John 1 :4-5 says:
In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. 5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.
Jesus was life. Jesus was the Light. Jesus was the Light in the darkness of the world. And even the darkest dark cannot hide Him from us.
We all need Light in the midst of the darkness of our world. The atrocities that occur over and over again. The raping of women and young girls, those sold into prostitution or child slavery, the rampant wars that continue, the extreme poverty that 7/8 of the world endures, the sicknesses, the deaths of those we love. The wrong decisions we make that cost us, either emotionally or financially. WE need THE LIGHT of Jesus to counteract the hatred and jealousy of racism. We need His Light to bring healing to broken homes, broken relationships. We need to be embraced by the Light of Jesus, to hold us close when life seems completely overwhelming.
Jesus often shows us His Light thru His people.
He has shown me His LIGHT in my very dark fall thru the lives of 11 incredible young women.
Two of them, Andi and Jen are my Young Life staff friends who I try to mentor. They have showered me with love and affection all fall long-even during Andi's wedding to Mike. Thank you both so so much.
The other LIGHT in my darkness has been my Young Life College Friends in Chico. They have blessed me, prayed for me, sent me texts and messages, called me and upheld and supported me in my very darkest fall ever. Having two cancer surgeries within 6 days and a very long recovery time, plus losing my dear 4th "son" Robby has made life difficult to say the least.
I am blessed and beyond grateful to both my Sarah's, Kristin, Caitlin, Lauren, Katie, Bri, Emily and Robin. They have been Jesus to me. They are my Jesus sightings all thru this hard time.
Jesus brought them into my life to be HIS LIGHT in the darkness I experienced.
I am truly truly thankful.
I am so amazed at how day in and day out, the LIGHT of JESUS shines. We just need to look for it-to look for HIM, in all our days.
My prayer is that in this next week, we all look and long for the true LIGHT that will not allow the darkness we face, to extinguish His Presence with us.
Monday, December 16, 2013
Celebrating Christmas when you don't feel like it.
I love Christmas.
Its always my favorite time of the year. I love decorating my home, I enjoy the goodies I make and give away. I love the lights. I love the carols-and never tire of them.
I love that what we are celebrating is that God is with us. Immanuel (or Emmanuel ). God who left heaven to be born as a baby. God Incarnate. So amazing. So wondrous. In the child born in Bethleham, in the powerlessness of a baby, God entered into our world. That's so remarkable to me.
My tree is up-although this year its a bit Charlie Brown like, the ornaments are hung; the ones that evoke memories and are treasured. The house looks festive, both inside and out.
Yet, I am not excited this year about celebrating.
I am really trying to keep my focus on Jesus, because that is what Christmas is really all about.
This has happened to me twice before. Not wanting to have Christmas.
The first time was forty years ago; the Christmas that snuck up on me two months after my mother had died.
The second one was probably twenty five years ago. I was a NICU nurse and the primary caregiver of a very sweet baby boy named David, who never was expected to live and yet he did. He had osteogenesis Imperfecta-type 2. Its a brittle, in his case , very very brittle bone disease. At birth, thru the trauma that he endured, he had over 200 breaks in his little body. So this sweet little boy lived ten days, and he went home to heaven on Christmas Eve day. It truly affected me in such a deep way. But I had young kids who looked forward to Christmas, so I put on my biggest "fake" self to make the holiday enjoyable for them.
This year Christmas will come, one day short of four weeks since our Robby too, went home to be with Jesus-way too early for us.
So that thrill I get each year anticipating celebrating Christ's birth is very absent right now.
I know this Christmas will be very different, very difficult. I grieve for my dear friends who will not spend another holiday with their son until eternity. Its their new normal, one that wasn't wanted.
They aren't the only ones who will spend this Christmas without their loved one.
Countless families across the globe will spend the holidays remembering their lost loved ones. They will be sorely missed. And most likely, they will wish they could pass on this holiday this year.
Many times, in order to deal with what we have lost, we try to keep busy, we try to make new traditions. This can help, but it doesn't take away the fact, that someone you love is just not there.
So what do we do when this happens to us? When The Christmas Season arrives and we don't feel like even acknowledging it.
Just like the life we have now been given, we keep on; we keep going. Because more than likely, that is what our loved one would want us to do. They want us to keep living when everything in us screams that we don't want to.
We need to be realistic; things are going to be different, Try and not set up expectations that won't come about. It will be hard and seem different. Of course it will be.
We can try new things to do, we can go away to a place that we haven't been before. One important thing to remember is that we still need to rest and take care of ourselves. Grief can bring on illness as our bodies have taken a hit in our immune systems as we deal with our loss.
We need to give ourselves permission to continue to grieve and not try and pretend that life is the same. A very dear friend sent me a wonderful passage written by the gifted Anne Lamott today and it is too good not to share.
You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn't seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp."
So although I may not feel like there's a reason to celebrate, there is a reason: We don't forget those we have loved and lost, we remember them, with fondness, with our sweet memories and we treasure them and begin to be grateful that our lives were blessed with someone we loved so deeply. And slowly, very slowly, we begin to move on.
But we will never forget.
One step at a time. Even if its a very small step.
A grateful heart.
One that rejoices in God, Our Savior, who came to earth to give us life and life abundantly.
One that doesn't try to pretend we aren't sad, that we don't miss those we lost, but one that begins to have a heart that longs to be thankful, longs to find joy again and one that remembers the love we had been blessed to give and receive.
Its always my favorite time of the year. I love decorating my home, I enjoy the goodies I make and give away. I love the lights. I love the carols-and never tire of them.
I love that what we are celebrating is that God is with us. Immanuel (or Emmanuel ). God who left heaven to be born as a baby. God Incarnate. So amazing. So wondrous. In the child born in Bethleham, in the powerlessness of a baby, God entered into our world. That's so remarkable to me.
My tree is up-although this year its a bit Charlie Brown like, the ornaments are hung; the ones that evoke memories and are treasured. The house looks festive, both inside and out.
Yet, I am not excited this year about celebrating.
I am really trying to keep my focus on Jesus, because that is what Christmas is really all about.
This has happened to me twice before. Not wanting to have Christmas.
The first time was forty years ago; the Christmas that snuck up on me two months after my mother had died.
The second one was probably twenty five years ago. I was a NICU nurse and the primary caregiver of a very sweet baby boy named David, who never was expected to live and yet he did. He had osteogenesis Imperfecta-type 2. Its a brittle, in his case , very very brittle bone disease. At birth, thru the trauma that he endured, he had over 200 breaks in his little body. So this sweet little boy lived ten days, and he went home to heaven on Christmas Eve day. It truly affected me in such a deep way. But I had young kids who looked forward to Christmas, so I put on my biggest "fake" self to make the holiday enjoyable for them.
This year Christmas will come, one day short of four weeks since our Robby too, went home to be with Jesus-way too early for us.
So that thrill I get each year anticipating celebrating Christ's birth is very absent right now.
I know this Christmas will be very different, very difficult. I grieve for my dear friends who will not spend another holiday with their son until eternity. Its their new normal, one that wasn't wanted.
They aren't the only ones who will spend this Christmas without their loved one.
Countless families across the globe will spend the holidays remembering their lost loved ones. They will be sorely missed. And most likely, they will wish they could pass on this holiday this year.
Many times, in order to deal with what we have lost, we try to keep busy, we try to make new traditions. This can help, but it doesn't take away the fact, that someone you love is just not there.
So what do we do when this happens to us? When The Christmas Season arrives and we don't feel like even acknowledging it.
Just like the life we have now been given, we keep on; we keep going. Because more than likely, that is what our loved one would want us to do. They want us to keep living when everything in us screams that we don't want to.
We need to be realistic; things are going to be different, Try and not set up expectations that won't come about. It will be hard and seem different. Of course it will be.
We can try new things to do, we can go away to a place that we haven't been before. One important thing to remember is that we still need to rest and take care of ourselves. Grief can bring on illness as our bodies have taken a hit in our immune systems as we deal with our loss.
We need to give ourselves permission to continue to grieve and not try and pretend that life is the same. A very dear friend sent me a wonderful passage written by the gifted Anne Lamott today and it is too good not to share.
You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn't seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp."
So although I may not feel like there's a reason to celebrate, there is a reason: We don't forget those we have loved and lost, we remember them, with fondness, with our sweet memories and we treasure them and begin to be grateful that our lives were blessed with someone we loved so deeply. And slowly, very slowly, we begin to move on.
But we will never forget.
One step at a time. Even if its a very small step.
A grateful heart.
One that rejoices in God, Our Savior, who came to earth to give us life and life abundantly.
One that doesn't try to pretend we aren't sad, that we don't miss those we lost, but one that begins to have a heart that longs to be thankful, longs to find joy again and one that remembers the love we had been blessed to give and receive.
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