WHAT IF: my mind is submerged

What if:
  
 My mind is submerged in Your Spirit,

 Then:
 my words would be saturated with Your love, truth and wisdom.

What if that could really happen in my life?
How different I would be.

If I let my mind be submerged in the Holy Spirit throughout my day, oh what a difference it would make. If I continually -and that's the key- looked to the Spirit of God who lives within me, 

NONE of the thoughts I had would be bad, or complaining, or critical or judgemental. 
 Instead they would be concentrated on how I could encourage someone, or build them up.  Or perhaps help to produce a positive change in my life or someone else's.

Long ago, a dear friend of mine, gave me the book, "Practicing the Presence of God" by Brother Lawrence. Every few  years I take it out and read it again, because I think this book has challenged me more than ANY OTHER.  The entire premise of this book is to draw you to Jesus throughout your day, whether it be at work or in your leisure time. 
Tom Raley gave me this book while I was pregnant with our daughter Kristi. I was a runner back then and he inscribed in the book to me, 

"Keep Running Missy-but run to JESUS- each and everyday".

So that was 35 years ago. And I know I have run to Jesus. I have pursued Him. I know Him more now than I did then. I love Jesus more now too. I am more intimately aware of Jesus more today than I was 35 years ago. 
Duh...that SHOULD be the case.

But do I think of Him more? Sometimes. 
More likely tho, NO.

What if I did? What if I set my watch to beep every hour of the day while I was awake? First of all, I would need to purchase a watch that did that!! Secondly, I know it would make me stop and remember and pray to Jesus more during my day. Thirdly, if I really stopped and thought about Jesus every hour, it would become a habit after a period of time. Why is it that it takes 6 weeks to make a habit and only 2 weeks to break one?

I have been struggling for awhile now with forgiveness. 
Someone who I thought I could trust, betrayed a confidence.
I'm pretty sure that I have now forgiven the person because I have been diligent-and I mean really diligent about pursuing Jesus in this and realizing that in Colossians 3:13, He has commanded us -specifically me to:

"Forgive one another as Christ has forgiven you".

So I am once again learning that it is easier to forgive than to forget.

But what if my mind had been submerged in His Holy Spirit? 
I truly believe that my words and my thoughts would have been saturated in God's love and His truth and His wisdom and this whole matter would be over and done with.

What if I keep turning to Jesus often-and even trying hourly everyday? 
Oh how His Spirit would saturate me in His love, His truth and His forgiveness of me!!
And that in turn, hopefully, would spill over in me to all the ones He brings into my life in a daily basis.

I am so thankful that Jesus has never given up on me. I am even more grateful that He loves me and because He does, He won't let me stay the way I am. That He is continually through the days and months and years, transforming into looking more like Him. I am so thankful that Tom gave me this book, that he thought enough of me to know that this little read would challenge me through the years.

Its time to read "Practicing His Presence " again.
If you have never read it, I can't encourage you more to go get this book.
I guarantee, you will be challenged for years.

If my mind is submerged in Your Spirit, my words will be saturated with Your love, truth and wisdom.

FEARS

Fears.
We all have them. Whether we will admit to them or not.
Sometimes we can't even verbalize what they are, but they are hidden in the deep recesses of our minds.
Sometimes they are legitimate and rational and othertimes we have allowed those fears to paralyze us with worry and anxiety. It has been said that 98% of what we worry about will never happen.

What can separate our good friends from those who are categorically our BEST friends is the fact that we might feel safe enough to share our fear with someone we absolutely trust.

I have had plenty of fears throughout my life.

One fear that haunted me for years was the fear of being alone in our home when my husband needed to be away for a night or a week doing some Young Life thing.
I was so afraid that I would not be able to protect our children. I slept fitfully. The normal house noises at night would cause anxiety. I memorized Scripture and would recite it to myself in the middle of the night. I prayed and prayed that God would take this fear away. I felt embarrassed that I couldn't trust God.
I even conned a few of our male Young Life leaders to sleep over in our guest bedroom to allay my anxiety. Thanks Jack Daley and Kevin Wood for helping this scared mom out.
One day I was alone at home in the daytime and a burglar(s) tried to enter our home. I had just returned from being gone for ten days caring for my dad who had a stroke. Our van had sat unmoved in the driveway for those ten days. They must have thought it was a safe place to rob.
I immediately called 911 and crouched behind the desk frightened out of my mind. The police arrived within one minute with sirens and the would be burglars took off running.
It was then I realized that God had been with me the whole time.
What might have happened? That's a scarey thought but nothing did.
I am not naive enough to believe nothing would have happened. There are atrocities committed every single day in our world that are evil and senseless. There are evil deranged people who think harming someone or killing them is OK.

Is God there when it happens? Absolutely.
Why doesn't He stop it? I don't know.
What I do know is that He is there. 
His heart breaks when our hearts break. He cries when we are hurt. He knows our pain. And He never leaves us-even if we think He isn't with us, His Word tells us that He will never leave us or forsake us.

A legitimate fear that I had occurred one day when I took our 2 labs for a walk in the forest by our house at Woodleaf. We were hiking a trail that I had been on many times with these pups. All of a sudden both dogs stopped still, the hairs on both of their bodies was raised and then in the bushes I heard lots of rumblings and deep thuds. I looked over and there were 2 bears sauntering by. I knew what could happen and managed to get out of there pronto. Some fears are very real. They warn us of impending danger. Heed those fears.

What about other fears?
Are you fearful of getting some disease? Like Cancer?
Are you fearful that even worse, one of your children will get cancer?
Are you afraid that you will never get married?
Are you afraid that you will lose your job?
Are you just fearful that someone you love will die? 
Are you fearful that those you love the most will die without knowing the love of Jesus?   
Are you fearful thinking that God will ask you to do something that you don't want to do?
Are you afraid you won't have enough money to pay your bills?
Afraid that you won't have enough money to pay for college?

I know those type of fears.
I remember being so afraid when I was younger that something would happen and one of my parents would die.
I was just 21 years old when my mom died unexpectedly-without any warning. I was devastated and my worst fear was realized. My life was shattered at that moment. I grieved long and hard. Eventually I learned to live and laugh and love and not be afraid of someone else I loved dying; because I knew the faithfulness of Jesus. He upheld me, comforted me and gave me strength to go on.
Perhaps you too know that faithfulness that almost defies explanation. You too have lost a parent, your beloved spouse or probably worse, your own child.

What I want you to know is that these fears we have and experience are NOT FROM GOD. They are from His enemy, the devil-who is known as the father of lies. This devil tries to fill our mind with fears and doubts and all kinds of untruth. I don't know why we fall for it, but unfortunately we do.

Another fear that stopped me in my tracks over the years was that I would deny Christ if it meant losing my life. Satan had me feel incredibly guilty and un-worthy that if a gun was put to my head-that I would deny THE ONE who had given my life its true purpose. 
Finally, one day I realized that if a gun was put to my head or aimed at any other part of my body, I WOULD NOT DENY MY LORD-if I was killed, I would immediately be with Him!! Fear eliminated .

There are times when our fears really get the best of us. We need help. That is the time to get help; whether it be from a friend, a pastor or a professional counselor. It is OK to admit we need help. Our fears are not meant to de-rail our lives.

Psalm 34:4 says:
"I sought the LORD, and He answered me; 
He delivered me from ALL my fears."  

That is what we MUST do. We need to go to the LORD. He is the ONE who can deliver us from ALL our fears.
Nothing that is scaring you is beyond His reach. He longs for us to know that He will always be with us. Even in the worst of our moments; that we are never alone.  
God's enemy uses fears to immobilize us, to cause us undo anxiety, to paralyze us from moving forward. DON'T let him.
Go to the LORD. I promise He will eventually deliver you from your fears-if only you will ask Him.         

ALWAYS AND FOREVER

I will never forget the day, after all, it was the Worst day of my life (at that time). I woke up to my brother Matt screaming "Mom is dead". I raced out of bed and ran upstairs, not believing him. But he was right and  altho I remember looking at her and it was the ugliest thing I had ever experienced, God was so gracious and answering my prayer that I would never visually remember it.
The next year was the loneliest in my life. I remember crying everyday, sobbing-many times uncontrollably for hours, for the next 4 1/2 months. Mom's death was sudden and totally unexpected. I had no time to prepare and it turned my world totally upside down. I didn't know what to do, I didn't know how to function. And I literally felt like I had no one to go to.
GOD was there. I was a relatively new believer but I knew He was there. I cried out to Him again and again. I didn't think I could make it. But I did.
I don't think I even knew this verse was there.

" I AM WITH YOU ALWAYS, even to the end of the age"

He was, but I wasn't always cognizant of it. I was completely grief stricken and didn't know how I would do life..didn't know who I would turn to.
It was lonely and miserable in ways that words can't describe.
But I did begin to know more of God, more of His constancy in my life, and began turning to Him more and more.
As I look back now, I know that God knew. That He was my shelter, my safety, my Rock of Refuge.
I often wonder if I would have completely sought God if my mom had not died. But I did and my life changed forever. It was then that I really knew and experienced that God would never leave me, He would never forsake me. I would never have to do life without Him. He would always be there. It was a very comforting promise for this naive 21 yr old.
Now I have had a worse day than this, but its not for this blog.
But fast forward 30+ years and I began to experience this same kind of loneliness again.
Scud had accepted the position of administrative manager for Woodleaf and it took 13 months for me to follow him up there. Not because I was dragging my feet, but because I was given the most wonderful task of cleaning up our home and getting it ready to sell (of course, all with Todd's help), and then there was Kristi's engagement to Adam and getting ready for the wedding.
So I arrived at Woodleaf on June 1, 2007 and began head long into summer. Which is busy, exhausting and crazy..but oh so much fun.
Then September arrived and the camp was frighteningly quiet. And oh..so Lonely.
I had no one-or so it felt like.
For the next 6 months , I experienced a different and yet seemingly familiar loneliness. I had left San Jose and everything I knew-except for Scud. Most of my kids were there, my lifetime friends were there, the church we attended , and the job that I loved.  Everything I knew and held dear was gone.
Sure, I lived in a place of stunning beauty-but even that didn't help. And then, in the midst of the beginning of this period, I developed a superficial blood clot and had to stay put and stay off my feet.
I cried out again and again to the LORD. I was sure He hadn't brought me up to Woodleaf to die. BUT if felt like it. And poor Scud, he had to live thru all this with me. And I let him have my frustration time and time again.
It was during this period, when I was desperately missing everything that was dear to me, that I began to remember again that God would never leave me or forsake me. That I was not alone-even tho it certainly felt like it.
I wrestled for months with the question : "If God was ALL i had, would that be enough?"
It really did take 6 agonizing months to realize that YES if GOD was all I had it would be enough. Because I remembered how faithful He was to me when my mom had died, and how he had been with me during a very tumulutous 10 years that Scud and I had experienced only recently.
AND THEN I finally realized, even tho I knew it in my mind, that GOD truly was THE ONLY ONE who would always be there for me. I had learned that He was there for me after both of my parents deaths and when I hurt so bad after each of the kids left for college....and EVEN now when everything that was good, everything that I cherished was not around. He still was...and He wasn't going anywhere.
That HE would ALWAYS BE THERE... even if Scud dies before me (which is definitely not part of my plan) or something were to happen to those I love with all that is within me. GOD WILL STILL BE THERE.


"AND LO, I WILL BE WITH YOU ALWAYS, EVEN TO THE END OF THE AGE"
Matthew 28:20

Oh how I cling to this promise.