Sometimes, our hearts just hurt. Its just how we were made. When we hear something or read something, we stop and know that we have been touched by someone else's pain, or maybe its our own pain.
This past weekend my heart ached for Rick and Kay Warren as I read of their son Matt's suicide. They know more than anyone how he suffered for years and years of depression and how as parents they did everything they possibly could to support him, get him treatment and be with him. Sometimes, even when we try to do everything right, it just doesn't work out.
Matt suffered from depression. The problem is that we think depression is not really an illness-that its a mental problem. Depression is both: an illness that produces some physical symptoms, but its also a disease that affects how our brain works at times.
As I ached for the Warren's and how they were hurting and grieving the loss of their precious son, I got mad at how some people spoke up on twitter about his death. Mind you, I don't "tweet" and hopefully I never will. But these tweets were reported on the Yahoo news site.
People, who don't know the Warren's, who don't know their son and what he was going thru, supposed that he was gay and that this was his dad's fault for being so outspoken against gay marriage. Excuse my language, but how the hell do they know? Why would you say something like that? Because you don't like Rick Warren's beliefs? Because you are intimately acquainted with the Warren family? What gives us the right to criticize, comment and pre-suppose what has happened in the midst of this family's worst nightmare?
My heart aches for those suffering from any mental illness. And that's what it is: a mental "illness". There are literally millions in this country alone (not even beginning to know world numbers) that suffer from depression, anxiety, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Bi-polar disorder, Multiple personalities, addiction, paranoia and many other diseases that affect our mental faculties. They need as much help as our friends and family that get Stage 4 cancer, who struggle with lupus or RA, who have diabetes or high cholesterol, or a hyper or hypo active thyroid and all the other illnesses that can affect our physical bodies.
I believe we need to take up the cause of mental illness and allow the people who suffer from these often debilitating diseases to not feel ostracized, to not fight the stigma that they are "crazy" everyday. I hope that we as a country and the mental health advocates really fight for us, fight for those suffering. As we read the news of school shootings, every single individual who has brought weapons to a school and used them to kill, have been identified with some sort of mental illness. Were their families fighting for them? Were they able to get them the help they needed? Did they have a support system that could encourage them, pray for them, stand by them in the ugliness of what they endure??
And what about our Veterans? Those young men and women who have returned from fighting in war who have nightmares and post traumatic stress disorder? Did they bring this on themselves? NO, it came as a result of the brutalizing trauma they were part of. They need our help desperately and we are not doing enough to get them the help they need.
I am not afraid to admit, that I have suffered from depression. That my family has had its share of mental illness; that we have needed professional help to make it through, that i know what its like to have someone I love so dearly not want to live. I have watched helplessly when thoughts that make no sense whatsoever to me, pervade almost non-stop in someone I care deeply about To know that the best thing you can do for someone is to help them get the help they need; that we don't need to be ashamed anymore.
If I had diabetes, and needed insulin, I would take it so that my body could process sugars. If I suffered from a mental illness and there was medicine to help me, why would I deny myself the chance to feel better?
As a committed, but still very much learning, follower of Jesus, I am convinced that when sin entered the world, that sickness and death came into play; mental illness, along with physical illness, would play havoc on God's precious children. Maybe I am naive, but I truly believe that all mental illness comes from God's enemy-that he uses that to draw us away from the ONE who loves us so dearly. Often a physical illness will drive a person closer and closer to God-reaching out when they never believed before, wanting to know that there was more to this life than what meets the eye, trying to figure out if there really is an after life and eternity. A physical illness, especially one that can limit our mortality, makes us contemplate if their really is a GOD.
Too often tho, mental illness takes us away from God. It should be no different. Unfortunately, how society has reacted, has made us believe that mental illness affects the crazies; that they brought it on themselves. Just as physical illness and death were never part of God's original plan, neither was mental illness. Sin has brought all this upon us.
God does not want us to suffer alone. He may not choose to heal us, either from our physical or mental maladies, but He promises that He will never leave us or forsake us; He promises that He will be with us always; in the good , the bad and the most traumatic times in our lives. He knows and hasn't forgotten us. That He is our anchor, firm and secure. Even when we feel our life is totally out of control and we don't know how we can even breathe or carry on, He is there-whether we feel Him or not. His Words are completely trustworthy. Even and especially in life's worst moments and tragedies.
I pray that Rick and Kay Warren know this. I am almost 100% positive that they do. My prayer today is that anyone who reads this would begin to re-think how they view mental illness, and to realize that it just affects our bodies in a different way than a physical illness-but that it is an illness.
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Here I go again
Again? Really? Will I ever get over it? Hopefully NOT.
This is Passion Week and as has been my custom for umpteen years, I spend Tuesday thru Friday reading the Gospel accounts of Jesus' last 24 hours on earth.
Pretending that I am an organized, efficient person, I start with Matthew. After all, it is the first book of the New Testament. And to no suprise, I then tackle Mark, Luke and finally John.
This morning I began by looking at three places where Jesus told His disciples what was going to happen. He literally said in Matthew 16:21, 17:22-23 and in chapter 20:18-19 that He was going to Jerusalem to be crucified and would rise again. Do you think the apostles didn't hear Him? Or perhaps they weren't sure of who this Son of Man was? Did they purposely forget it? Whatever the case, they were warned.
Matthew 26 and 27 tells us the horrific story. But first Jesus spends one last meal with His disciples celebrating the Passover. This is probably the holiest day of the Jewish year as they were commanded to remember how GOD spared His people from the destruction He sent over the Egyptians. In case you don't know this story, Moses instructed the Jewish people to get a one year old lamb and they were to slaughter it, roast it and then eat it (along with some bitter herbs and bread without yeast in it). They were to sprinkle the lamb's blood over the doorposts of their home which would signify that they belonged to the LORD, and at midnight, the angel of the LORD "passed over" their houses sparing them the loss of their first born child and animals. This angel took the life of every first born in Egypt.
Celebrating this event was a BIG DEAL and Jesus would not miss the opportunity to be with His closest friends remembering the LORD's provision of the Israelite community. It was at this, His Last Supper, that Jesus broke bread and gave thanks and gave it to His disciples and said : "Take and eat, this is my body". Another hint.
Immediately He took the cup of wine and offered it to them and said : " Drink from it, all of you. This is my blood of the Covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.". The significance would not be lost on His followers in days, weeks and thousands of years to come.
Oh LORD JESUS, You are the sacrifical Lamb, poured out for ALL of us. Your life and blood, You sacrificed so that our sins would be taken care of...ONCE and FOR ALL.
Our sins have been "passed over" because of what You did for us.
Was it easy? NO WAY.
In fact, Jesus knew how difficult it was going to be and in anguish cried out to His Father : "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from Me. Yet not as I will , but as you will." And He said this not once but three times.
Being fully God, He knew what was coming, but being fully human, Jesus knew the agony, the pain and the death He would be facing, and wanted out.
(who wouldn't want out of this?).
In a series of bogus, trumped up charges, Jesus was sentenced to crucifixion. Now begins the part of the story that gets me everytime. Any and every time I think about what Jesus Christ did for me, suffered for me, I get shivers and my eyes well with tears.
A sampling of what is written:
"they bound Him, led Him away and handed Him over to Pilate"
"But he (Pilate) had Jeus floggend and handed Him over to be crucified"
"then they spit in His face and struck Him with their fists. Others slapped Him."
"After they had mocked Him, they led Hm away to crucify Him."
Oh LORD JESUS, how could they have done this to You?
They spit on you. To me, spitting on someone is the most degrading thing one person could do to another, and here are these Roman soldiers who get a kick out of doing this to the Savior of the world.
They also struck this King of Glory with their fists and slapped Him.
Lest I pass judgement on these men, I realize that I did this to Jesus too. Every single person who has ever lived, has somehow insulted this spotless Lamb of God.
I know, we weren't there and we didn't spit on Him, hit him, flog Him or slap Him personally, but our selfishness, our rebellion, our stubborn pride (and by our, I really mean "my") have struck Jesus and hurt Him.
And the result of all this? Jesus was nailed to the Cross, became thoroughly dehydrated, suffocated and eventually died. In His worst moment ever, He was alone. Even His Father could not look at the disgusting garbage dump His Son had become as He took on the sins of the entire humanity of the world.
Jesus cried out : "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"
When He realized that His own Father would not come to His rescue, "He gave up His spirit".
The GOD of our universe and all creation, all alone. Crushed by the heaviness of mankind's sins, Jesus is left to die.
Why?
Because He knew it was THE ONLY WAY, we could ever have a relationship again with His Father.
"Amazing LOVE, how can it be, that thou my God should die for me".
I am visibly shaken knowing that I am the one who flogged Him, who spit on His face, who struck Him and slapped Him. My sins nailed Him to the Cross.
This kind of love is so absolutely hard to fathom. I can't even get my head around it . I am awed, humbled and ever so grateful for His Love for me-and for you. We certainly don't deserve it, we've done nothing that merits this amazing love and yet we are forgiven and bathed in His Love and Grace.
This week called Passion Week should initiate such a passion filled response to His love, that we become and long to be, those who would show the world this amazing, loving , grace filled God. That all may begin to know and understand how passionate He is in pursuing us.
Thanks be to God!!!
This is Passion Week and as has been my custom for umpteen years, I spend Tuesday thru Friday reading the Gospel accounts of Jesus' last 24 hours on earth.
Pretending that I am an organized, efficient person, I start with Matthew. After all, it is the first book of the New Testament. And to no suprise, I then tackle Mark, Luke and finally John.
This morning I began by looking at three places where Jesus told His disciples what was going to happen. He literally said in Matthew 16:21, 17:22-23 and in chapter 20:18-19 that He was going to Jerusalem to be crucified and would rise again. Do you think the apostles didn't hear Him? Or perhaps they weren't sure of who this Son of Man was? Did they purposely forget it? Whatever the case, they were warned.
Matthew 26 and 27 tells us the horrific story. But first Jesus spends one last meal with His disciples celebrating the Passover. This is probably the holiest day of the Jewish year as they were commanded to remember how GOD spared His people from the destruction He sent over the Egyptians. In case you don't know this story, Moses instructed the Jewish people to get a one year old lamb and they were to slaughter it, roast it and then eat it (along with some bitter herbs and bread without yeast in it). They were to sprinkle the lamb's blood over the doorposts of their home which would signify that they belonged to the LORD, and at midnight, the angel of the LORD "passed over" their houses sparing them the loss of their first born child and animals. This angel took the life of every first born in Egypt.
Celebrating this event was a BIG DEAL and Jesus would not miss the opportunity to be with His closest friends remembering the LORD's provision of the Israelite community. It was at this, His Last Supper, that Jesus broke bread and gave thanks and gave it to His disciples and said : "Take and eat, this is my body". Another hint.
Immediately He took the cup of wine and offered it to them and said : " Drink from it, all of you. This is my blood of the Covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.". The significance would not be lost on His followers in days, weeks and thousands of years to come.
Oh LORD JESUS, You are the sacrifical Lamb, poured out for ALL of us. Your life and blood, You sacrificed so that our sins would be taken care of...ONCE and FOR ALL.
Our sins have been "passed over" because of what You did for us.
Was it easy? NO WAY.
In fact, Jesus knew how difficult it was going to be and in anguish cried out to His Father : "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from Me. Yet not as I will , but as you will." And He said this not once but three times.
Being fully God, He knew what was coming, but being fully human, Jesus knew the agony, the pain and the death He would be facing, and wanted out.
(who wouldn't want out of this?).
In a series of bogus, trumped up charges, Jesus was sentenced to crucifixion. Now begins the part of the story that gets me everytime. Any and every time I think about what Jesus Christ did for me, suffered for me, I get shivers and my eyes well with tears.
A sampling of what is written:
"they bound Him, led Him away and handed Him over to Pilate"
"But he (Pilate) had Jeus floggend and handed Him over to be crucified"
"then they spit in His face and struck Him with their fists. Others slapped Him."
"After they had mocked Him, they led Hm away to crucify Him."
Oh LORD JESUS, how could they have done this to You?
They spit on you. To me, spitting on someone is the most degrading thing one person could do to another, and here are these Roman soldiers who get a kick out of doing this to the Savior of the world.
They also struck this King of Glory with their fists and slapped Him.
Lest I pass judgement on these men, I realize that I did this to Jesus too. Every single person who has ever lived, has somehow insulted this spotless Lamb of God.
I know, we weren't there and we didn't spit on Him, hit him, flog Him or slap Him personally, but our selfishness, our rebellion, our stubborn pride (and by our, I really mean "my") have struck Jesus and hurt Him.
And the result of all this? Jesus was nailed to the Cross, became thoroughly dehydrated, suffocated and eventually died. In His worst moment ever, He was alone. Even His Father could not look at the disgusting garbage dump His Son had become as He took on the sins of the entire humanity of the world.
Jesus cried out : "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"
When He realized that His own Father would not come to His rescue, "He gave up His spirit".
The GOD of our universe and all creation, all alone. Crushed by the heaviness of mankind's sins, Jesus is left to die.
Why?
Because He knew it was THE ONLY WAY, we could ever have a relationship again with His Father.
"Amazing LOVE, how can it be, that thou my God should die for me".
I am visibly shaken knowing that I am the one who flogged Him, who spit on His face, who struck Him and slapped Him. My sins nailed Him to the Cross.
This kind of love is so absolutely hard to fathom. I can't even get my head around it . I am awed, humbled and ever so grateful for His Love for me-and for you. We certainly don't deserve it, we've done nothing that merits this amazing love and yet we are forgiven and bathed in His Love and Grace.
This week called Passion Week should initiate such a passion filled response to His love, that we become and long to be, those who would show the world this amazing, loving , grace filled God. That all may begin to know and understand how passionate He is in pursuing us.
Thanks be to God!!!
Monday, February 25, 2013
AWESOME
Psalm 47:2
How awesome is the LORD Most High, the great King over all the earth.
OK , is that a question or a statement , or a bit of both.
Because the word "how" is there, I believe it is a question, but there is not a question mark in my bible-so maybe it just really is a statement.
But what a statement it is!! How AWESOME is the LORD Most High.
Incredibly awesome!! Beyond words, awesome. I can't even really adequately describe the awesomeness of God but immediately upon reading that I wrote down words that for me described His awesomeness.
Amazing
Loving
Forgiving
Giving
Patient
Kind
Good
Merciful
Gracious
Caring
Faithful
Peace Giving
Gentle
Those are the words that came to me in the first minute.
I know there are countless more.
It was just a tremendous reminder for me-again-of what a Wonderful God we have. How often do I dwell on the Majesty of my God? Reflect on just WHO HE IS? I realized today; not often enough.
Most likely I go to Our LORD with prayers and petitions. Other times I ask for His Wisdom and guidance. Occasionally I go just to cry and sit in the lap of THE ONE who knows me and understands me, to find comfort in His love.
Today though, I am reminded and convicted that I need to go to my LORD and just tell Him how awesome He is. To remind myself of how blessed I am to know the King of the Universe and the Lover of my soul.
I challenge myself and I challenge you to dwell on the Awesome God we know.
How awesome is the LORD Most High, the great King over all the earth.
OK , is that a question or a statement , or a bit of both.
Because the word "how" is there, I believe it is a question, but there is not a question mark in my bible-so maybe it just really is a statement.
But what a statement it is!! How AWESOME is the LORD Most High.
Incredibly awesome!! Beyond words, awesome. I can't even really adequately describe the awesomeness of God but immediately upon reading that I wrote down words that for me described His awesomeness.
Amazing
Loving
Forgiving
Giving
Patient
Kind
Good
Merciful
Gracious
Caring
Faithful
Peace Giving
Gentle
Those are the words that came to me in the first minute.
I know there are countless more.
It was just a tremendous reminder for me-again-of what a Wonderful God we have. How often do I dwell on the Majesty of my God? Reflect on just WHO HE IS? I realized today; not often enough.
Most likely I go to Our LORD with prayers and petitions. Other times I ask for His Wisdom and guidance. Occasionally I go just to cry and sit in the lap of THE ONE who knows me and understands me, to find comfort in His love.
Today though, I am reminded and convicted that I need to go to my LORD and just tell Him how awesome He is. To remind myself of how blessed I am to know the King of the Universe and the Lover of my soul.
I challenge myself and I challenge you to dwell on the Awesome God we know.
Saturday, February 23, 2013
WORDS
Words. It is how we communicate.
Words can be subtle; they can have power. Words can be misleading, but also can be life-giving. Words are how one can let others know what we are thinking; they can express our ideas, our dreams, our desires, our fears.
Words can be meaningful and they can be harmful.
Watching an infant try to speak the words we want them to speak can be wonderful, yet also frustrating. As parents, we so want to be able to understand what they need and want from us. It is our responsibility to teach them how to talk. From their earliest babbles: baba ba ba ba, comes their first word. How exciting it is to hear that first word uttered! From that moment on, we are constantly trying to teach them words so that this little human can communicate with us. We are so anxious for them to talk that lately young parents have taken to teaching sign language so that baby can express himself to mommy and daddy.
I have a two and a half lively grandson, who is not talking completely clearly -yet. Jax is a bundle of energy and is constantly on the move. He is way ahead in physical and motor skills than 90% of kids his same age. Verbally, he is a bit challenged. He is making progress and I delight in hearing his newest words. I had tried countless times. "Jax, can you say Grammy?" and get absolutely NOTHING. About six weeks ago, I walked into my daughter's home where Jax was playing . He looked up and saw me and came running to me saying "Gammy! Gammy!" Oh this grammy's heart burst with joy as I picked him up to give hugs and kisses.
The written word is one of my very favorite things in life. I have loved to read since I learned how to read. One of the very first books I could ever read was ' Sammy the Seal'. I still have the book and have read it to my own children and now their children.
I love that thru books I can explore things I could never imagine on my own. I love spy thrillers, legal and medical mysteries, am a sucker for some romance novels (Nicholas Sparks and Debbie MacComber). I love autobiographies and non-fiction. As an English major in college, I don't go for the latest trends- have not read a Harry Potter book, or Twilight or the Hunger Games. Maybe someday, but am glad that others find them enjoyable. I love the Classics and Jane Austin is my literary hero. I have read books about Nelson Mandela and because of them, he has become my modern day hero. If you were to observe me on vacation, you would most likely see me reading a wide variety of books. I am just a voracious reader and am glad this is a trait passed on to me by my dear dad.
I have learned so much from books. I have been to places that I have dreamt about. I have been challenged and encouraged. I am so thankful for the pure joy I get in reading. Reading is all about words. How an author puts together concepts and ideas so that the reader can understand amazes me.
The spoken word has incredible power.
One pastor's sermon can inspire, enlighten and challenge many to seek truth, seek God, do something, change for the better, relinguish a nasty habit.
I heard Barak Obama speak at an AIDS conference at Saddleback Church about seven years ago and his words struck me to the core. However you may feel about him as president, does not negate the powerful orator he is.
I heard Jane Fonda speak once, and was so inspired by her words.
My words can be an encouragement to some. But I also am aware of how I have used them to deeply hurt -even damage - some people. The words I have spoken that I wish I could take back; oh, if only I had contemplated first how my words might impact the person I was saying them too. To think I might have permanently lost a relationship with my sons, or two of my closest friends because of my careless words, makes me shudder.
I have learned my lesson. I know now that I really do try to think before I speak.
Recently a friends words brought pain into my life that I am sure she has no idea that it even happened. But the hurt that it caused me and someone I love, those words cannot be undone; the harm has been done. It was in my time this morning of reading the Bible that I read these words from Psalm 39:1
"I will watch my ways and keep my tongue from sin; I will put a muzzle on my mouth..."
Once again, I am asking God to help me. To remind me of the power of my words-whether they are spoken or written. I want to really live out the words of James 1:19
"Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. For man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires".
And I ask you to forgive me if my words have hurt you. I am truly sorry for any pain, hurt or anger I might have caused.
May we all really see the power of our own words.
Words can be subtle; they can have power. Words can be misleading, but also can be life-giving. Words are how one can let others know what we are thinking; they can express our ideas, our dreams, our desires, our fears.
Words can be meaningful and they can be harmful.
Watching an infant try to speak the words we want them to speak can be wonderful, yet also frustrating. As parents, we so want to be able to understand what they need and want from us. It is our responsibility to teach them how to talk. From their earliest babbles: baba ba ba ba, comes their first word. How exciting it is to hear that first word uttered! From that moment on, we are constantly trying to teach them words so that this little human can communicate with us. We are so anxious for them to talk that lately young parents have taken to teaching sign language so that baby can express himself to mommy and daddy.
I have a two and a half lively grandson, who is not talking completely clearly -yet. Jax is a bundle of energy and is constantly on the move. He is way ahead in physical and motor skills than 90% of kids his same age. Verbally, he is a bit challenged. He is making progress and I delight in hearing his newest words. I had tried countless times. "Jax, can you say Grammy?" and get absolutely NOTHING. About six weeks ago, I walked into my daughter's home where Jax was playing . He looked up and saw me and came running to me saying "Gammy! Gammy!" Oh this grammy's heart burst with joy as I picked him up to give hugs and kisses.
The written word is one of my very favorite things in life. I have loved to read since I learned how to read. One of the very first books I could ever read was ' Sammy the Seal'. I still have the book and have read it to my own children and now their children.
I love that thru books I can explore things I could never imagine on my own. I love spy thrillers, legal and medical mysteries, am a sucker for some romance novels (Nicholas Sparks and Debbie MacComber). I love autobiographies and non-fiction. As an English major in college, I don't go for the latest trends- have not read a Harry Potter book, or Twilight or the Hunger Games. Maybe someday, but am glad that others find them enjoyable. I love the Classics and Jane Austin is my literary hero. I have read books about Nelson Mandela and because of them, he has become my modern day hero. If you were to observe me on vacation, you would most likely see me reading a wide variety of books. I am just a voracious reader and am glad this is a trait passed on to me by my dear dad.
I have learned so much from books. I have been to places that I have dreamt about. I have been challenged and encouraged. I am so thankful for the pure joy I get in reading. Reading is all about words. How an author puts together concepts and ideas so that the reader can understand amazes me.
The spoken word has incredible power.
One pastor's sermon can inspire, enlighten and challenge many to seek truth, seek God, do something, change for the better, relinguish a nasty habit.
I heard Barak Obama speak at an AIDS conference at Saddleback Church about seven years ago and his words struck me to the core. However you may feel about him as president, does not negate the powerful orator he is.
I heard Jane Fonda speak once, and was so inspired by her words.
My words can be an encouragement to some. But I also am aware of how I have used them to deeply hurt -even damage - some people. The words I have spoken that I wish I could take back; oh, if only I had contemplated first how my words might impact the person I was saying them too. To think I might have permanently lost a relationship with my sons, or two of my closest friends because of my careless words, makes me shudder.
I have learned my lesson. I know now that I really do try to think before I speak.
Recently a friends words brought pain into my life that I am sure she has no idea that it even happened. But the hurt that it caused me and someone I love, those words cannot be undone; the harm has been done. It was in my time this morning of reading the Bible that I read these words from Psalm 39:1
"I will watch my ways and keep my tongue from sin; I will put a muzzle on my mouth..."
Once again, I am asking God to help me. To remind me of the power of my words-whether they are spoken or written. I want to really live out the words of James 1:19
"Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. For man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires".
And I ask you to forgive me if my words have hurt you. I am truly sorry for any pain, hurt or anger I might have caused.
May we all really see the power of our own words.
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