Psalm 31:7a
I will be glad and rejoice in Your love.
Whoa, did that catch me off guard this morning.
Do I rejoice in God's love for me?
I realized this morning that I should, but do I?
What about those times when life completely sideswipes you?
We all have had those times, and if you haven't, trust me, they will come.
What if you were just laid off your job?
What if you heard that those pains you were having, was actually Stage 4 cancer?
What if that relationship that you thought was going to last forever ended?
If you thought the special person you were dating was "THE ONE"? and they now say they aren't and "I'm sorry."
Or maybe your spouse of 10, or 20, or 30 and even 40 plus years, says they are done and they want out. "I want a divorce."
What if your child gets a terminal disease? And then they die?
Or your beloved spouse, or someone in your family or closest of friends dies?
What if your boss tells you they are transferring you across the country or even across the world?
What if your teen gets into trouble? Whether by drugs or a pregnancy ?
What if an accident leaves you unable to work??
What if you can't get into the college or grad school of your choice?
What if you flunk out of college?
What if you have prayed over and over to be healed of a long chronic illness and you still have it?
These type of questions certainly can cause us to question God's love for us.
But the Bible tells us that He says:
" I have loved you with an everlasting love. I have drawn you with loving kindness" Jeremiah 31:3
Maybe His love is different than ours.
I most assuredly believe His love is different than mine.
I wouldn't have had my parents get a divorce.
I wouldn't have had my mom die when I was 21.
I wouldn't have had my two sons run away because of my anger.
I wouldn't have had a daughter become anorexic.
I certainly wouldn't have had a child try to end their life.
I wouldn't have moved to the "middle of nowhere".
But these things have happened in my life.
Romans 8:28 tells us "that God causes everything to work for good to those who love God , and who are called according to His purpose".
He did not say that all things were good.
He said He would work things out for good.
Why? Because He does love us.
I am so grateful to my grown children who recommend books and bible studies to me. Last fall they told me about "The Story".
The Story is by Randy Frasee and it basically is a book that tells us about God's story-from Genesis to Revelation.
There is the Upper Story, which is God's story of how much He loves us and will do EVERYTHING to reconcile us to Himself; including sacrificing His precious Son's life-so that we could have a relationship with Him.
The Lower Story is our story. What God uses in our lives-to show us that He wants to align us with His Upper story. To bring us back to God and that relationship that He always envisioned us having with Him.
Is it always fun?
NO.
Is it painful?
Sometimes it is ever so painful?
Is it to help us understand that God wants a deep relationship with Him?
ABSOLUTELY YES.
To we always get it? No. Most of the time I don't get it during those hard times. It comes afterwards. When you see the hands of God knitting and fashioning our story to meet up with His wonderful Upper Story.
God ALWAYS works with our best interest in mind.
He works things out because of His deep love for us.
He catches us off guard to make us realize we were never meant to do life apart from Him.
Do we have to know the hows and whys? NO we don't have to, but we certainly want to. It is like the parts of the Bible that didn't get written. Those parts when we wondered what happened after? Or wonder how that person felt? Those parts of God's story that He didn't think were necessary for us to know. Those questions that remain unanswered, because what we wonder isn't really all that important to know.
Do I believe God loves me?
YES with everything within me. I don't always understand His ways, and I don't necessarily need to understand.
What I do know is that all those hurts and pain I mentioned earlier, happened and because they did, they drove me to God. Drove me to seek solace and comfort from Him. To cling to God because I had no other place to go. It was God's way of showing me that HE LOVES ME, that He will never leave me alone.
Today I am rejoicing in His love.
His love has carried me when nothing else could.
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Less is MORE
Today marks the beginning of Lent.
I grew up in the Catholic church. Today is Ash Wednesday. We always got our ashes today; the priest made the sign of the Cross on our forehead in ashes and we hoped that it would never wear off. Kind of a badge of honor.
It wasn't until much later that I learned that the ashes represented GOD working in our lives. I remember the priest always saying : "From dust you came, from dust you will return".. Didn't sound very appealing, but I still wore my ashes with pride.
The Cross on our forehead was to remind us of our brokenness, our mortality, our total dependence on God for life.
That it was God who began the process of making our lives new, of giving us purpose.
I get it now.
Lent is a time of reflection. A time to concentrate on really trying to listen to God. A time to think about all that He has done. A time to look forward to the Cross and the suffering and shame Christ experienced so that we might have life again.
For me, its also a time of confession. Asking God to show me where I miss His mark in my life. Where my actions and thoughts have offended Him. What I am like that is not showing others who JESUS is.
In the Catholic tradition, you always gave up something for Lent.
I remember as a young girl in elementary school going to Mass daily with my dad and getting to school late, where it was accepted and another way of showing others that I was perhaps a bit better than them.
As a child, I always gave up candy. Kids love candy and I certainly did. Oh how I loved the Easter basket filled with chocolate eggs and jelly beans.
As I grew up, I knew that ice cream was the thing I needed to give up.
If you know me, you know that Ice Cream is by far my most favorite food. So much so, that in college, on a bet by my friends, ate nothing but ice cream for a week (and the best part was I lost 5 lbs!!). So "giving up" ice cream seemed like a small sacrifice in comparison of the life that Jesus gave up for me.
As an adult, I remember challenging my best bud MaryKay to give up ice cream with me. Our idea of Fat Tuesday was to go to Swenson's (who remembers them?) and get a HUGE hot fudge sundae with favorite flavors.
Then I would add all sweets-now that is TOUGH...but I would do it. It was during those years that popcorn would be my "go to" snack!!
And then as time progressed I decided to give up wine, or sometimes all alcohol. By no means am I anywhere even close to being an alcoholic, but I do love my glass of wine. And as an official cheat, I always broke my Lenten fast on Saturday before Easter. I mean heck, Jesus had already died. Oh the excuses I can come up with.
So this year, continuing my tradition, I pondered what to abstain from.
I was pretty sure it wasn't going to be sweets or alcohol, because I am on weight watchers and I hardly ever have that now-so it wouldn't be hard to do.
And all of a sudden it came to me, give up Facebook.
I have become a facebook addict and I absolutely HATE it.
How much time do I waste checking Facebook everyday? How much time do you??
And what could I do with that time instead of checking what people are up to?
So as of today, I am off Facebook until whenever Easter is (sometime in April I think). You are seeing this post because I will post it to FB, but I won't see it.
And I am going to use the time I would to memorize passages of Scripture-starting with Romans 8, my favorite chapter of the Bible.
I ordered a small booklet called Less is More to use during the Lenten season from Renovare. I have read only the first day. But already I love the title. For me Less facebook is MORE of Jesus, more time to reflect on Him. Less of the things that really distract me and more time for the MOST IMPORTANT.
By no means am I trying to guilt you into thinking you have to give up something. As my daughter Kristi says: "i'm not a catholic".
What I would like to do is to challenge and encourage you to use these 6 1/2 weeks before Easter to concentrate on spending a bit more time of Jesus, a time to reflect on Him -more than you usually would. I am almost certain that if you do, you will be more blessed than you could imagine.
So grateful for this time of my hiatus from Facebook and anticipating with excitement the more I will experience my LORD.
I grew up in the Catholic church. Today is Ash Wednesday. We always got our ashes today; the priest made the sign of the Cross on our forehead in ashes and we hoped that it would never wear off. Kind of a badge of honor.
It wasn't until much later that I learned that the ashes represented GOD working in our lives. I remember the priest always saying : "From dust you came, from dust you will return".. Didn't sound very appealing, but I still wore my ashes with pride.
The Cross on our forehead was to remind us of our brokenness, our mortality, our total dependence on God for life.
That it was God who began the process of making our lives new, of giving us purpose.
I get it now.
Lent is a time of reflection. A time to concentrate on really trying to listen to God. A time to think about all that He has done. A time to look forward to the Cross and the suffering and shame Christ experienced so that we might have life again.
For me, its also a time of confession. Asking God to show me where I miss His mark in my life. Where my actions and thoughts have offended Him. What I am like that is not showing others who JESUS is.
In the Catholic tradition, you always gave up something for Lent.
I remember as a young girl in elementary school going to Mass daily with my dad and getting to school late, where it was accepted and another way of showing others that I was perhaps a bit better than them.
As a child, I always gave up candy. Kids love candy and I certainly did. Oh how I loved the Easter basket filled with chocolate eggs and jelly beans.
As I grew up, I knew that ice cream was the thing I needed to give up.
If you know me, you know that Ice Cream is by far my most favorite food. So much so, that in college, on a bet by my friends, ate nothing but ice cream for a week (and the best part was I lost 5 lbs!!). So "giving up" ice cream seemed like a small sacrifice in comparison of the life that Jesus gave up for me.
As an adult, I remember challenging my best bud MaryKay to give up ice cream with me. Our idea of Fat Tuesday was to go to Swenson's (who remembers them?) and get a HUGE hot fudge sundae with favorite flavors.
Then I would add all sweets-now that is TOUGH...but I would do it. It was during those years that popcorn would be my "go to" snack!!
And then as time progressed I decided to give up wine, or sometimes all alcohol. By no means am I anywhere even close to being an alcoholic, but I do love my glass of wine. And as an official cheat, I always broke my Lenten fast on Saturday before Easter. I mean heck, Jesus had already died. Oh the excuses I can come up with.
So this year, continuing my tradition, I pondered what to abstain from.
I was pretty sure it wasn't going to be sweets or alcohol, because I am on weight watchers and I hardly ever have that now-so it wouldn't be hard to do.
And all of a sudden it came to me, give up Facebook.
I have become a facebook addict and I absolutely HATE it.
How much time do I waste checking Facebook everyday? How much time do you??
And what could I do with that time instead of checking what people are up to?
So as of today, I am off Facebook until whenever Easter is (sometime in April I think). You are seeing this post because I will post it to FB, but I won't see it.
And I am going to use the time I would to memorize passages of Scripture-starting with Romans 8, my favorite chapter of the Bible.
I ordered a small booklet called Less is More to use during the Lenten season from Renovare. I have read only the first day. But already I love the title. For me Less facebook is MORE of Jesus, more time to reflect on Him. Less of the things that really distract me and more time for the MOST IMPORTANT.
By no means am I trying to guilt you into thinking you have to give up something. As my daughter Kristi says: "i'm not a catholic".
What I would like to do is to challenge and encourage you to use these 6 1/2 weeks before Easter to concentrate on spending a bit more time of Jesus, a time to reflect on Him -more than you usually would. I am almost certain that if you do, you will be more blessed than you could imagine.
So grateful for this time of my hiatus from Facebook and anticipating with excitement the more I will experience my LORD.
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Distinguished and Distinct
Do you ever wonder about who you are?
Wonder if you are different from others? Or that we are all cut out of the same mold?
Do you get discouraged by setbacks and what you would consider failure ?
Do you try to imagine yourself as being different?? The newer, better version of you?
If we are honest with ourselves, and right now I am being honest, we all at times, wish to be different.
Want to be able to be distinguished from others. Want others to see something in us that they want to have for themselves.
Are we too caught up in what others think?
I know that I am. Way too often, I am more concerned about how others will view my words, my actions, my views. Instead of concentrating on what I am to do, I get all caught up in wanting approval of people.
Are you like this too??
The things I know about myself that are true I can share easily.
I am first and foremost loved by God and am unashamedly His.
I am a wife, a mother and a grandmother. I know I am not always the best at either of those titles, but I try - I really
try to be the best I can be.
I am a good friend. I am loyal-to a fault and will defend my friends (and family) quickly.
I am a hard worker. I tried my best as a nurse to give the most excellent, conscientious care that I could.
I am using the gifts God has given me in discipleship and hospitality.
But does that really distinguish me??
Not really. Does it matter if I am blonde (with alot of help from Julie) and blue eyed? that I am Caucasian and live in the United States??
That I am now almost elderly- at least in my friend Caitlin's eyes.
That I am still overweight-but working on it??
Do any of these things really matter in the scope of life? eternity?
The thing that I want to count in what distinguishes me is my relationship with Jesus.
Has that made a difference to anyone?
Shouldn't I be more concerned about pleasing, obeying God than being concerned with what others think of me.
Yes I should.
Sometimes-more too often that I should-I let my feelings of what others perceive me to be, or how they might perceive me if they knew what I had done or not done, affect me way more than I should.
This morning in Exodus 8 I read that the LORD is in the middle of 10 devestating plagues in Egypt trying to get the attention of the Pharaoh to allow the Israelites to leave the land, makes a huge distinction between the people in Egypt and His people when the gnats hit the country by the millions. He deals differently with the two nations.
The gnats will be all over Egypt but not a single one will be found in the land of Goshen where the Isrealites resided.
"I will make a distinction between My people and your people..."
GOD so desperately wants to make a distinction between us that long to follow and obey Him and for those who choose not to know Him.
Does it matter if my house is bigger than yours?
That you make more money than me?
That you are prettier and skinnier than me?
That I have a better job than you?
That I am married and you are not?
That you are successful in all your endeavors?
That you passed the exam and I didn't?
That you conceive easily and I can not get pregnant?
That you are suffering from cancer and I only have heart disease?
That your ministry is way more successful than mine??
That I live in the USA and you live in the poorest of all nations?
That I am heterosexual and you are gay?
Does these things matter to God??
I have to admit, that I think all the LORD really cares about is that I am obeying Him.
That I don't compare myself to " the world's standards" but follow His.
That I seek His will above my own.
That I am really really trying to follow His commands. So that when I study for an exam and someone else doesn't and cheats and gets a better grade, that I will know I gave it my best.
That I am commited to staying pure before marriage. Not because I don't want to have sex with this person I am in love with, but because God says not too. And in the long run, I know He knows what is best and has told us that sex is for the marriage bed and not a casual relationship.
That I will not jeopardize my marriage by having an affair because not only will it hurt my spouse and others, but it is not what God designed marriage to be.
I believe with all that I am, that God wants us to make a difference for Him and NOT for ourselves.
That it is ALL ABOUT JESUS and not about me.
And He tells us that the world will know we are His because of what we do. Not how the world sees us as. But by what He sees us as: His beloved and adored child.
I purpose now to make a commitment to care more about what distinguishes me more from God's perspective than from anyone elses.
That I want to be distinct for His purposes and His plans.
I want others to wonder why I am the way I am. Instead of wishing I could be like them.
I want to be the person GOD has envisioned me to be...for the rest of my life.
Wonder if you are different from others? Or that we are all cut out of the same mold?
Do you get discouraged by setbacks and what you would consider failure ?
Do you try to imagine yourself as being different?? The newer, better version of you?
If we are honest with ourselves, and right now I am being honest, we all at times, wish to be different.
Want to be able to be distinguished from others. Want others to see something in us that they want to have for themselves.
Are we too caught up in what others think?
I know that I am. Way too often, I am more concerned about how others will view my words, my actions, my views. Instead of concentrating on what I am to do, I get all caught up in wanting approval of people.
Are you like this too??
The things I know about myself that are true I can share easily.
I am first and foremost loved by God and am unashamedly His.
I am a wife, a mother and a grandmother. I know I am not always the best at either of those titles, but I try - I really
try to be the best I can be.
I am a good friend. I am loyal-to a fault and will defend my friends (and family) quickly.
I am a hard worker. I tried my best as a nurse to give the most excellent, conscientious care that I could.
I am using the gifts God has given me in discipleship and hospitality.
But does that really distinguish me??
Not really. Does it matter if I am blonde (with alot of help from Julie) and blue eyed? that I am Caucasian and live in the United States??
That I am now almost elderly- at least in my friend Caitlin's eyes.
That I am still overweight-but working on it??
Do any of these things really matter in the scope of life? eternity?
The thing that I want to count in what distinguishes me is my relationship with Jesus.
Has that made a difference to anyone?
Shouldn't I be more concerned about pleasing, obeying God than being concerned with what others think of me.
Yes I should.
Sometimes-more too often that I should-I let my feelings of what others perceive me to be, or how they might perceive me if they knew what I had done or not done, affect me way more than I should.
This morning in Exodus 8 I read that the LORD is in the middle of 10 devestating plagues in Egypt trying to get the attention of the Pharaoh to allow the Israelites to leave the land, makes a huge distinction between the people in Egypt and His people when the gnats hit the country by the millions. He deals differently with the two nations.
The gnats will be all over Egypt but not a single one will be found in the land of Goshen where the Isrealites resided.
"I will make a distinction between My people and your people..."
GOD so desperately wants to make a distinction between us that long to follow and obey Him and for those who choose not to know Him.
Does it matter if my house is bigger than yours?
That you make more money than me?
That you are prettier and skinnier than me?
That I have a better job than you?
That I am married and you are not?
That you are successful in all your endeavors?
That you passed the exam and I didn't?
That you conceive easily and I can not get pregnant?
That you are suffering from cancer and I only have heart disease?
That your ministry is way more successful than mine??
That I live in the USA and you live in the poorest of all nations?
That I am heterosexual and you are gay?
Does these things matter to God??
I have to admit, that I think all the LORD really cares about is that I am obeying Him.
That I don't compare myself to " the world's standards" but follow His.
That I seek His will above my own.
That I am really really trying to follow His commands. So that when I study for an exam and someone else doesn't and cheats and gets a better grade, that I will know I gave it my best.
That I am commited to staying pure before marriage. Not because I don't want to have sex with this person I am in love with, but because God says not too. And in the long run, I know He knows what is best and has told us that sex is for the marriage bed and not a casual relationship.
That I will not jeopardize my marriage by having an affair because not only will it hurt my spouse and others, but it is not what God designed marriage to be.
I believe with all that I am, that God wants us to make a difference for Him and NOT for ourselves.
That it is ALL ABOUT JESUS and not about me.
And He tells us that the world will know we are His because of what we do. Not how the world sees us as. But by what He sees us as: His beloved and adored child.
I purpose now to make a commitment to care more about what distinguishes me more from God's perspective than from anyone elses.
That I want to be distinct for His purposes and His plans.
I want others to wonder why I am the way I am. Instead of wishing I could be like them.
I want to be the person GOD has envisioned me to be...for the rest of my life.
Friday, January 25, 2013
Ahhh ....Scud
My last post was about blessings. I have been trying to be thankful and remember how much the LORD has blessed my life . While driving home last night from Chico, I was grateful how God worked His purpose for me that day.
I had lunch with one of "my girls". I thought it might be hard because there were some difficult things that needed to be communicated, but God was right there and it turned out how He planned it and I am grateful for how He leads us and how, when we are trying to be wholly His, that we respond in love.
Later in the afternoon, got to spend time (never enough) with my friend Gail. She inspires me and I love how she ministers to people at any given moment. She is truly a blessing in my life.
In the evening, I got to spend time in a small group discussing temptations and how we can run from them everytime. These 5 gals make my day everytime I am with them. Their honesty, vulnerability with each other and their desire to really be who God envisions them to be totally energizes me to what God has called me to do. Oh how they have blessed my life so much more than I could ever have imagined.
So while reflecting on my day and the blessings God has given me, I thought of the BEST blessing in my life outside of my relationship to JESUS.
SCUD.
He is the best blessing God has bestowed on me.
For almost 37 years now, this man has loved me, encouraged me, challenged me, shown me where I am wrong-always in a loving way, held me when I didn't think I could breathe again, shared my tears and has made me laugh every single day of our married life.
Scud is the opposite of me in so many ways:
He never judges people.
He always thinks before saying anything.
He always listens to 2 sides of a story before making any kind of decision.
He is not reactionary.
He has had the MOST INCREDIBLE servant's heart from the day I met him.
He never wants recognition; just wants to do what Jesus has called him to do.
He is completely humble.
Oh I realize how great he is. I also realize that I just informed you of how not great I am, but most of you who read this already know that.
Scud has been the most wonderful husband for me.
He has been an amazing, wise and loving Dad to our four kids.
I am so grateful that God graciously brought into my life a man who desires to be who God envisions him to be and how he encourages me daily to be the woman God wants me to be.
Completely certain that this is the BEST MAN for me and that God brought Scud into my life so that i could know more of JESUS .
I am forever grateful LORD GOD.
THANK YOU.
I had lunch with one of "my girls". I thought it might be hard because there were some difficult things that needed to be communicated, but God was right there and it turned out how He planned it and I am grateful for how He leads us and how, when we are trying to be wholly His, that we respond in love.
Later in the afternoon, got to spend time (never enough) with my friend Gail. She inspires me and I love how she ministers to people at any given moment. She is truly a blessing in my life.
In the evening, I got to spend time in a small group discussing temptations and how we can run from them everytime. These 5 gals make my day everytime I am with them. Their honesty, vulnerability with each other and their desire to really be who God envisions them to be totally energizes me to what God has called me to do. Oh how they have blessed my life so much more than I could ever have imagined.
So while reflecting on my day and the blessings God has given me, I thought of the BEST blessing in my life outside of my relationship to JESUS.
SCUD.
He is the best blessing God has bestowed on me.
For almost 37 years now, this man has loved me, encouraged me, challenged me, shown me where I am wrong-always in a loving way, held me when I didn't think I could breathe again, shared my tears and has made me laugh every single day of our married life.
Scud is the opposite of me in so many ways:
He never judges people.
He always thinks before saying anything.
He always listens to 2 sides of a story before making any kind of decision.
He is not reactionary.
He has had the MOST INCREDIBLE servant's heart from the day I met him.
He never wants recognition; just wants to do what Jesus has called him to do.
He is completely humble.
Oh I realize how great he is. I also realize that I just informed you of how not great I am, but most of you who read this already know that.
Scud has been the most wonderful husband for me.
He has been an amazing, wise and loving Dad to our four kids.
I am so grateful that God graciously brought into my life a man who desires to be who God envisions him to be and how he encourages me daily to be the woman God wants me to be.
Completely certain that this is the BEST MAN for me and that God brought Scud into my life so that i could know more of JESUS .
I am forever grateful LORD GOD.
THANK YOU.
Friday, January 18, 2013
When you least expect it
Gosh, it has been a LONG time since I have written anything.
It isn't because nothing has happened. It is just that sometimes life is busy; sometimes I think no one would be interested in what I have to say.
Writing to me can be such a release and also a motivator.
In my journals, I write and contemplate things I am learning-that are not necessarily for anyone but me.
Other times I write because I feel the LORD has taught me something that I want to share to see if will help, inspire, encourage others.
And sometimes I write just to process my thoughts and feelings.
This week I have been in San Jose. I spent three days watching Kellen and Jax while Kristi was at a leadership retreat with her church staff. I always have fun with these little boys and am so grateful that I am close enough to be able to do this. Not only did I have the privilege of being with my grandsons, I had some great times with some great people.
Spent the morning with one of my original Chico gals, Sam Stone, who now lives in San Jose.
Had korean chicken tacos made by Todd.
Shared that meal with my family, the 'girlfriends" and Mary Kay-doesn't get much better than that!
Spent an afternoon with my friend Elaine and the next day we (along with her husband Keith) took our
grandsons (four of them , all 2 and 4 yrs) to the Children's Discovery Museum in San Jose.
Had breakfast and caught up with my friend Ruth.
Had lunch with my dear June-my spiritual mentor of 34+ years.
Bought a new 49ers shirt.
And tomorrow will attend the memorial service of a dear man who was on the Young Life Committee in
San Jose for almost 30 years
God has abundantly blessed me and I wasn't even thinking that anything would happen this week.
How often do we miss the things God has blessed us with because we are too busy to notice?
Maybe I was intentionally looking. Maybe I was inspired by my small group on Sunday night and the amazing conversation we had. I was blessed then too as I watched "my girls" care, support and encourage one another.
Maybe it was because on my ride down to San Jose, I was challenged to be thankful and look for the daily blessings.
Whatever it was, right now I sit and marvel of how much God has blessed me this week.
And that's not all. In my quiet times, I began reading Genesis last week. Although I haven't gotten very far, God has blessed me again and again by reminding me of truths I often overlook, shown me new ways to think about things, allowed me to see how far He has taken me and cause me once again to be amazed at how His Word never gets old, and that He wants to reveal more and more of Himself to me on a daily basis.
Its been a fabulous week. Thank you Lord God for showering me with blessings.
What about you?? Stop and just think of how God has blessed you these past 5 days.
It isn't because nothing has happened. It is just that sometimes life is busy; sometimes I think no one would be interested in what I have to say.
Writing to me can be such a release and also a motivator.
In my journals, I write and contemplate things I am learning-that are not necessarily for anyone but me.
Other times I write because I feel the LORD has taught me something that I want to share to see if will help, inspire, encourage others.
And sometimes I write just to process my thoughts and feelings.
This week I have been in San Jose. I spent three days watching Kellen and Jax while Kristi was at a leadership retreat with her church staff. I always have fun with these little boys and am so grateful that I am close enough to be able to do this. Not only did I have the privilege of being with my grandsons, I had some great times with some great people.
Spent the morning with one of my original Chico gals, Sam Stone, who now lives in San Jose.
Had korean chicken tacos made by Todd.
Shared that meal with my family, the 'girlfriends" and Mary Kay-doesn't get much better than that!
Spent an afternoon with my friend Elaine and the next day we (along with her husband Keith) took our
grandsons (four of them , all 2 and 4 yrs) to the Children's Discovery Museum in San Jose.
Had breakfast and caught up with my friend Ruth.
Had lunch with my dear June-my spiritual mentor of 34+ years.
Bought a new 49ers shirt.
And tomorrow will attend the memorial service of a dear man who was on the Young Life Committee in
San Jose for almost 30 years
God has abundantly blessed me and I wasn't even thinking that anything would happen this week.
How often do we miss the things God has blessed us with because we are too busy to notice?
Maybe I was intentionally looking. Maybe I was inspired by my small group on Sunday night and the amazing conversation we had. I was blessed then too as I watched "my girls" care, support and encourage one another.
Maybe it was because on my ride down to San Jose, I was challenged to be thankful and look for the daily blessings.
Whatever it was, right now I sit and marvel of how much God has blessed me this week.
And that's not all. In my quiet times, I began reading Genesis last week. Although I haven't gotten very far, God has blessed me again and again by reminding me of truths I often overlook, shown me new ways to think about things, allowed me to see how far He has taken me and cause me once again to be amazed at how His Word never gets old, and that He wants to reveal more and more of Himself to me on a daily basis.
Its been a fabulous week. Thank you Lord God for showering me with blessings.
What about you?? Stop and just think of how God has blessed you these past 5 days.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Holding Back???
My mind is swimming this morning. The thoughts are all over the place.
Its Veteran's Day and naturally, I am so thankful for the men and women who have served our country. Many of them gave their lives so that we could be free. A freedom that let us cast our votes -even this week, of who would lead our land. A freedom that we often take for granted. I am so grateful for the Armed Services- today, when I know they are over fighting a war that I believe we should never have entered. Young women and men who are passionate about serving. THANK YOU.
I have been reading in the book of Acts this weekend. I am thankful that God's Word is always new and fresh. That words of the Scripture can bring new insights even when I might mistakenly think that I know the Bible-that I've read it before. Over twenty years ago, I decided that I wanted to read the Bible thru every year. If you know me, you know that I am not always conventional. I tried reading plans, but couldn't wait till September before starting the New Testament.
Given this information, this is at least the 20th time that I have read the Book of Acts. I know the stories. I've read them. I have studied them in bible studies. I thoroughly LOVE how the LORD allows me to be surprised by new insights or convictions. Yesterday, as it was snowing outside and I was sitting by our wood burning stove, I read the fifth chapter of Acts. It is the story of Ananias and his wife Sapphira. The background of this story is that the community of believers in Jerusalem experienced an unusual type of fellowship and community. They shared everything with each other; when someone was in need, the church would provide for their needs. They pooled all their money and resources and really took care of each other. Side note: wouldn't it be absolutely incredible if we, the Body of Christ, would do this today?? The implications would be astounding-worldwide. If we, the church of Jesus had really done our job, the government wouldn't have had to develop programs to care for the poor and disenfrachised.
Ananias and Sapphira had a piece of property that they were going to sell. They conspired together to "keep" some of the money from the sale before they gave into the community treasurechest. What happened is that they didn't remember that GOD saw. GOD knew. And what they did was basically lied to the LORD and to the leaders of the early church. Somehow, God let Peter know this and when Ananias came to give the money, Peter confronted him. Told him that satan had deceived him and that he had lied to the Holy Spirit. The result: Ananias immediately fell dead. Hours later, Sapphira not knowing what happened to her husband, appeared before Peter and also lied. She too, immediately fell dead.
This story might seem extremely harsh. I think one of the main messages to us is: we cannot fool God. We cannot rationalize our actions that are impure to a Holy God. We cannot lie to Him and get away with it. HE KNOWS. Nothing escapes His gaze. But what also struck me and really has captivated my mind is:
Where have I tried to rob God?
What am I trying to keep for myself?
What am I lying about?
What am I trying to control and hold on to?
Gosh, I have tried to hold on to control in so so many areas of my life over the years: Trying to hold on to the family and how I wanted it to be. Trying to hold on to the control I had in my children's lives. Trying to hold on to my life in San Jose when God was calling us to Woodleaf. How have I tried to rob God?? This question haunts me. I have robbed Him of really giving all of me to Him. Of completely surrendering myself to Him. Why? Because I want to remain in control. The selfish me wants what i want-when I want it, how I want it to look like, how I want to live my life.
Ashamedly, I admit that I have wanted to serve God on my terms, in my time frame, when it was convenient for me.
I have had "my plans" and often forgot to include God in them-or ask Him to bless them without even talking to Him about it in the first place. I ask myself "WHY?"
Why would I not confer with Him? Why would I not want His take on ANYTHING I was undertaking or wanted to pursue?? Who do I think I am??
It has been a hard day of wrestling thru these questions. All I do know is that I truly want to be one who pleases and brings Glory and Honor to my Father and His Son. I am again so thankful for His mercies that are new everyday.
I am grateful that once again, my Young Life College friends, are pursuing God and they are challenging me to Pursue His Holiness. You can't fool these gals-they can see thru hypocrisy, so I have to be honest and real with them.
Most importantly, how incredibly humbled and blessed I am that the LORD has not given up on me. That He hasn't shown me all of my ugly self at once, but gently prods-altho sometimes He has to POKE HARD to get my attention, to show me how if I just gave Him full control, life might not be so hard at times . It might be hard but if I hold on to Him, the trial or hardship will eventually pass.
I don't have to be in control. I don't have to keep things for myself.
GOD has always taken care of me. He has promised that He will provide for all my needs.
I don't have to hold back.
HE certainly never has.
Its Veteran's Day and naturally, I am so thankful for the men and women who have served our country. Many of them gave their lives so that we could be free. A freedom that let us cast our votes -even this week, of who would lead our land. A freedom that we often take for granted. I am so grateful for the Armed Services- today, when I know they are over fighting a war that I believe we should never have entered. Young women and men who are passionate about serving. THANK YOU.
I have been reading in the book of Acts this weekend. I am thankful that God's Word is always new and fresh. That words of the Scripture can bring new insights even when I might mistakenly think that I know the Bible-that I've read it before. Over twenty years ago, I decided that I wanted to read the Bible thru every year. If you know me, you know that I am not always conventional. I tried reading plans, but couldn't wait till September before starting the New Testament.
Given this information, this is at least the 20th time that I have read the Book of Acts. I know the stories. I've read them. I have studied them in bible studies. I thoroughly LOVE how the LORD allows me to be surprised by new insights or convictions. Yesterday, as it was snowing outside and I was sitting by our wood burning stove, I read the fifth chapter of Acts. It is the story of Ananias and his wife Sapphira. The background of this story is that the community of believers in Jerusalem experienced an unusual type of fellowship and community. They shared everything with each other; when someone was in need, the church would provide for their needs. They pooled all their money and resources and really took care of each other. Side note: wouldn't it be absolutely incredible if we, the Body of Christ, would do this today?? The implications would be astounding-worldwide. If we, the church of Jesus had really done our job, the government wouldn't have had to develop programs to care for the poor and disenfrachised.
Ananias and Sapphira had a piece of property that they were going to sell. They conspired together to "keep" some of the money from the sale before they gave into the community treasurechest. What happened is that they didn't remember that GOD saw. GOD knew. And what they did was basically lied to the LORD and to the leaders of the early church. Somehow, God let Peter know this and when Ananias came to give the money, Peter confronted him. Told him that satan had deceived him and that he had lied to the Holy Spirit. The result: Ananias immediately fell dead. Hours later, Sapphira not knowing what happened to her husband, appeared before Peter and also lied. She too, immediately fell dead.
This story might seem extremely harsh. I think one of the main messages to us is: we cannot fool God. We cannot rationalize our actions that are impure to a Holy God. We cannot lie to Him and get away with it. HE KNOWS. Nothing escapes His gaze. But what also struck me and really has captivated my mind is:
Where have I tried to rob God?
What am I trying to keep for myself?
What am I lying about?
What am I trying to control and hold on to?
Gosh, I have tried to hold on to control in so so many areas of my life over the years: Trying to hold on to the family and how I wanted it to be. Trying to hold on to the control I had in my children's lives. Trying to hold on to my life in San Jose when God was calling us to Woodleaf. How have I tried to rob God?? This question haunts me. I have robbed Him of really giving all of me to Him. Of completely surrendering myself to Him. Why? Because I want to remain in control. The selfish me wants what i want-when I want it, how I want it to look like, how I want to live my life.
Ashamedly, I admit that I have wanted to serve God on my terms, in my time frame, when it was convenient for me.
I have had "my plans" and often forgot to include God in them-or ask Him to bless them without even talking to Him about it in the first place. I ask myself "WHY?"
Why would I not confer with Him? Why would I not want His take on ANYTHING I was undertaking or wanted to pursue?? Who do I think I am??
It has been a hard day of wrestling thru these questions. All I do know is that I truly want to be one who pleases and brings Glory and Honor to my Father and His Son. I am again so thankful for His mercies that are new everyday.
I am grateful that once again, my Young Life College friends, are pursuing God and they are challenging me to Pursue His Holiness. You can't fool these gals-they can see thru hypocrisy, so I have to be honest and real with them.
Most importantly, how incredibly humbled and blessed I am that the LORD has not given up on me. That He hasn't shown me all of my ugly self at once, but gently prods-altho sometimes He has to POKE HARD to get my attention, to show me how if I just gave Him full control, life might not be so hard at times . It might be hard but if I hold on to Him, the trial or hardship will eventually pass.
I don't have to be in control. I don't have to keep things for myself.
GOD has always taken care of me. He has promised that He will provide for all my needs.
I don't have to hold back.
HE certainly never has.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Bucket List #3:GIANTS and the WORLD SERIES.
REMEMBER being a child and waiting with excitement and anticipation for Christmas?? We spent weeks pouring over catalogs and watching TV commercials, and then waiting for Christmas Day to see if Santa brought what we so desperately needed/wanted. And then squealing with absolute delight when we got what we asked for.
I can imagine the very first Christmas morning as the angels in heaven stood on their tip toes looking down for the birth of the baby. The baby that was God's son. They had been waiting thousands of years to see this!! The only other event that topped this was the first Easter morn, when that same baby, who grew up to be a man, gave His life for all of us so that we would escape the entrapment of sin we were born into. Easter morning, Jesus defeated death and rose from the Grave as the angels and saints in heaven cheered ecstatically that sin had been overcome .
WE all have had moments and memories of the excitement and anticipation of what we are hoping to happen.
THE monumental event in my life that I couldn't wait to happen was the day I married Scud. Like alot of little girls, I imagined and daydreamed about my wedding day. As the years progressed I wondered who this man would be? Would he be cute? Would he think I was cute? Would we like similar things? Would my family and friends like him? What would we do, where would we live?? Those kind of questions that one conjurs up in our minds wondering what it would be like.
My wedding day was absolutely wonderful. The man showed up and there would be only two things I wish had been different: that my mom was still alive to be a part of this and that the weather would dip below the 106 degrees that it was. Other than that, I wouldn't change anything and I would marry Scud again and again all over again.
Did you see the movie "the Bucket List"?
I imagine that countless people saw that movie and began making their own bucket lists of what they would like to see happen before they leave this earth. I know I did.
Some of my list has happened already. I saw both Kristi and Katie get married (still waiting on Todd and Ryan). I became a grandmother. I kind of maybe started writing. Some things still I would like to see or happen is: going to Africa to work in an AIDS orphanage so that I could use my nursing skills, I would like to go on a family missions trip with kids, spouses and grandkids (got a taste of that going to Russia in the 1990's with our family), I really want to visit Ireland-because I'm an Irish girl. Those are a few of my bucket list, have you made yours?
Last night I got to cross off #3 on my bucket list.
I saw my beloved SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS play in a WORLD SERIES GAME.
I became a GIANTS fan in 1958, thanks to my Dad who wanted one of his girls to become a baseball fan.
(IT worked Dad, it really did!). I was 5 1/2 yrs old when he took me to Seal Stadium and the two things I remember from that night was : it was cold and Ernie Banks (Mr Cub) hit a grandslam. My dad told me I would always remember that. I went to Candlestick in 1960 the year it was finished and then for the next 39 years, I went to so many games I can't remember how many there were.
I single handedly help make Scud a fan (ask him someday about our first baseball date!!) and dragged my kids to the games until they became fans in their own right. I actually went into labor with Todd at Opening Day in 1980. One of my favorite Giants memories involves Kristi learning what an intentional walk was. As our batter was being walked, she yelled out at the top of her lungs (which that too doesn't happen very much with her!) "They're balling him, they're balling him"!! The crowd around us roared in laughter.
We went as a Young Life family in San Jose every opening day for years-decreed a holiday by Scud.
Started a mother-son game with The Paine's and watched Todd meet his childhood hero, Chili Davis.
Scud, Todd and I also got to see the last game at the Stick thanks to Ron and Rick Conway.
I was tortured thru watching the Giants in three other world series. 1962 with all my childhood heroes playing. 1989 walking off the escalator as they earthquake hit, and when the series resumed 10 days later, I could not find any one to work my weekend shifts at the hosptial. In 2002, we had two kids in college and couldn't really rationalize spending the money.
Two years ago, we had tickets to Game 6. The Giants became the WORLD CHAMPIONS IN GAME 5!!! But I didn't care-they WON.
So Monday night as I watched them become the National League Pennant winners once again, I began online looking for tickets but the prices were unreal. There was no way we could go.
On Tuesday while it was raining I decided to look again. I was looking for Game 2 tickets. After pages on Craigslist i found a listing for Game 1 that wasn't really out of our reach. I quickly called Scud to see if we could go and he said YES. So after texting and calling the guy I bought the tickets from, I got in my car to go to Chico and for most the entire ride I thanked God for this incredible gift and opportunity.
Many may say that this isn't what God cares about; going to a Giants World Series game is incidental. But for me, its been a lifelong dream and I couldn't quit thanking God.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 says: "Give thanks in all circumstances".
Not sure if this is what Paul had in mind, but to me, God gifted me with this bucket list wish. When both of us work for YL, its obvious we aren't rolling in the cash, but somehow we were able to afford this.
So yesterday we left Woodleaf around 11:30 for the trip down and met two of my favorite Chico girls in Marysville and headed to San Francisco. It was really fun getting to experience it with Sam and Katie-something none of us will forget.
Zito?? The Opening Day , Game 1 pitcher of the World Series???
Barry Zito??? The same guy left off the roster 2 years ago cause he wasn't producing.
Yes...that same guy.
Webster's dictionary defines redeem as: to make up for; make amends for; offset (some fault, shortcoming,)
to recover by payment or satisfaction
to buy back, or pay back
Barry Zito redeemed himself for the past 4-5 years. He totally made up and recovered his status as a premier pitcher!!!
And the PANDA?? Pablo Sandoval...well he hit 3 home runs, two of them off the best pitcher in baseball today (Welcome to San Francisco Mr Verlander!). That was absolutely incredible to actually see in person.
And watching Gregor Blanco make 2 outstanding catches, Buster throwing out a runner, Timmy pitching like he used to , and so many other moments.
Going to the game was EVERYTHING I could have hoped for and MORE than I could imagine.
Walking thru the stadium an hour before the game started, watching the stadium fill up, the electricity and energy of the crowd, the friendliness of everyone, yelling MARCO SCUTARO-like yelling Marco Polo in the pool as a kid, waving our orange rally rags over and over again...Everything was Perfect.
And to come away with the WIN in Game 1....PRICELESS!!!
For 54 of my 60 years , I have bled orange and black. They are the ONLY team I am passionate about...this was so worthy of my bucket list and so worth every penny it cost us.
I'm so thankful my husband knew how much I wanted to go.
And I am so thankful that God allowed me this opportunity.
I am also eternally thankful that I know what redeemed means in my own life. Jesus bought me back for the Father. He paid the price for my sin and made satisfaction for all of us.
I think us knowing Jesus is Number 1 on His Bucket List!!
TODAY'S BLOG IS DEDICATED TO: my wonderful husband Scud and my GIANTS LADIES: Samantha Stone and Katie Lee. Thanks for the challenge.
I can imagine the very first Christmas morning as the angels in heaven stood on their tip toes looking down for the birth of the baby. The baby that was God's son. They had been waiting thousands of years to see this!! The only other event that topped this was the first Easter morn, when that same baby, who grew up to be a man, gave His life for all of us so that we would escape the entrapment of sin we were born into. Easter morning, Jesus defeated death and rose from the Grave as the angels and saints in heaven cheered ecstatically that sin had been overcome .
WE all have had moments and memories of the excitement and anticipation of what we are hoping to happen.
THE monumental event in my life that I couldn't wait to happen was the day I married Scud. Like alot of little girls, I imagined and daydreamed about my wedding day. As the years progressed I wondered who this man would be? Would he be cute? Would he think I was cute? Would we like similar things? Would my family and friends like him? What would we do, where would we live?? Those kind of questions that one conjurs up in our minds wondering what it would be like.
My wedding day was absolutely wonderful. The man showed up and there would be only two things I wish had been different: that my mom was still alive to be a part of this and that the weather would dip below the 106 degrees that it was. Other than that, I wouldn't change anything and I would marry Scud again and again all over again.
Did you see the movie "the Bucket List"?
I imagine that countless people saw that movie and began making their own bucket lists of what they would like to see happen before they leave this earth. I know I did.
Some of my list has happened already. I saw both Kristi and Katie get married (still waiting on Todd and Ryan). I became a grandmother. I kind of maybe started writing. Some things still I would like to see or happen is: going to Africa to work in an AIDS orphanage so that I could use my nursing skills, I would like to go on a family missions trip with kids, spouses and grandkids (got a taste of that going to Russia in the 1990's with our family), I really want to visit Ireland-because I'm an Irish girl. Those are a few of my bucket list, have you made yours?
Last night I got to cross off #3 on my bucket list.
I saw my beloved SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS play in a WORLD SERIES GAME.
I became a GIANTS fan in 1958, thanks to my Dad who wanted one of his girls to become a baseball fan.
(IT worked Dad, it really did!). I was 5 1/2 yrs old when he took me to Seal Stadium and the two things I remember from that night was : it was cold and Ernie Banks (Mr Cub) hit a grandslam. My dad told me I would always remember that. I went to Candlestick in 1960 the year it was finished and then for the next 39 years, I went to so many games I can't remember how many there were.
I single handedly help make Scud a fan (ask him someday about our first baseball date!!) and dragged my kids to the games until they became fans in their own right. I actually went into labor with Todd at Opening Day in 1980. One of my favorite Giants memories involves Kristi learning what an intentional walk was. As our batter was being walked, she yelled out at the top of her lungs (which that too doesn't happen very much with her!) "They're balling him, they're balling him"!! The crowd around us roared in laughter.
We went as a Young Life family in San Jose every opening day for years-decreed a holiday by Scud.
Started a mother-son game with The Paine's and watched Todd meet his childhood hero, Chili Davis.
Scud, Todd and I also got to see the last game at the Stick thanks to Ron and Rick Conway.
I was tortured thru watching the Giants in three other world series. 1962 with all my childhood heroes playing. 1989 walking off the escalator as they earthquake hit, and when the series resumed 10 days later, I could not find any one to work my weekend shifts at the hosptial. In 2002, we had two kids in college and couldn't really rationalize spending the money.
Two years ago, we had tickets to Game 6. The Giants became the WORLD CHAMPIONS IN GAME 5!!! But I didn't care-they WON.
So Monday night as I watched them become the National League Pennant winners once again, I began online looking for tickets but the prices were unreal. There was no way we could go.
On Tuesday while it was raining I decided to look again. I was looking for Game 2 tickets. After pages on Craigslist i found a listing for Game 1 that wasn't really out of our reach. I quickly called Scud to see if we could go and he said YES. So after texting and calling the guy I bought the tickets from, I got in my car to go to Chico and for most the entire ride I thanked God for this incredible gift and opportunity.
Many may say that this isn't what God cares about; going to a Giants World Series game is incidental. But for me, its been a lifelong dream and I couldn't quit thanking God.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 says: "Give thanks in all circumstances".
Not sure if this is what Paul had in mind, but to me, God gifted me with this bucket list wish. When both of us work for YL, its obvious we aren't rolling in the cash, but somehow we were able to afford this.
So yesterday we left Woodleaf around 11:30 for the trip down and met two of my favorite Chico girls in Marysville and headed to San Francisco. It was really fun getting to experience it with Sam and Katie-something none of us will forget.
Zito?? The Opening Day , Game 1 pitcher of the World Series???
Barry Zito??? The same guy left off the roster 2 years ago cause he wasn't producing.
Yes...that same guy.
Webster's dictionary defines redeem as: to make up for; make amends for; offset (some fault, shortcoming,)
to recover by payment or satisfaction
to buy back, or pay back
Barry Zito redeemed himself for the past 4-5 years. He totally made up and recovered his status as a premier pitcher!!!
And the PANDA?? Pablo Sandoval...well he hit 3 home runs, two of them off the best pitcher in baseball today (Welcome to San Francisco Mr Verlander!). That was absolutely incredible to actually see in person.
And watching Gregor Blanco make 2 outstanding catches, Buster throwing out a runner, Timmy pitching like he used to , and so many other moments.
Going to the game was EVERYTHING I could have hoped for and MORE than I could imagine.
Walking thru the stadium an hour before the game started, watching the stadium fill up, the electricity and energy of the crowd, the friendliness of everyone, yelling MARCO SCUTARO-like yelling Marco Polo in the pool as a kid, waving our orange rally rags over and over again...Everything was Perfect.
And to come away with the WIN in Game 1....PRICELESS!!!
For 54 of my 60 years , I have bled orange and black. They are the ONLY team I am passionate about...this was so worthy of my bucket list and so worth every penny it cost us.
I'm so thankful my husband knew how much I wanted to go.
And I am so thankful that God allowed me this opportunity.
I am also eternally thankful that I know what redeemed means in my own life. Jesus bought me back for the Father. He paid the price for my sin and made satisfaction for all of us.
I think us knowing Jesus is Number 1 on His Bucket List!!
TODAY'S BLOG IS DEDICATED TO: my wonderful husband Scud and my GIANTS LADIES: Samantha Stone and Katie Lee. Thanks for the challenge.
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